Chapter 51

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Toni

I woke up around 1 am to an empty bed, which startled me at first. I was sleeping hard. I needed it. And the sound of my desolate stomach growling let me know that I was really stressing the day before, even if it didn't seem like it in the moment. I tried to think back to the plane ride and how I felt, but came up empty with memories of total numbness. It was that bad this time. I was anxious to get some of my emotions off my chest, but at the same time, I didn't want to hear what anyone had to say. I was tired of other people's opinions getting in the way of my happiness.  I needed it all to be over. Tomorrow. At the latest.

I searched far and wide for Janet in the hotel she called her humble abode. I couldn't wait to move my things in with hers. I knew I'd made the right decision to live with her as her plush robe wrapped around my body dragged the heated floors.  I loved this house and I loved her more. I'd keep my own for a while, just in case, but like she told me almost 2 months ago now, I wouldn't need it. She was right.

I followed the peculiar, whimsical sound effects all the way into her theater room where I found her watching reruns of Tom and Jerry. I laughed to myself and called her name from the doorway. She had a bowl of popcorn next to her, and a glass of wine in the cup holder. She was too much for me.

Janet turned around with a bashful grin, but her eyes lit up at the sight of me. "Look who's awake! Come here, come here."

I rubbed my eyes and made it over to her chair. She pulled me down into her lap. "I kind of missed you."

  "I was just sleeping, Jan."

"I know, but we haven't really talked a whole lot since..."

  "I guess. Oh, uh, why are you sitting up here watching Tom and Jerry like it just came out?"
I turned around to see a new episode beginning with carnival-like music.

  "I was just feeling... nostalgic. I loved this show. Came on right after my brothers' cartoon. Every Saturday."

  "You're such a kid."

  "I know, I know," she groaned, squeezing my body. "Mike used to watch it with me when they'd come home sometimes, I don't know. It just has a lot of meaning to me."

  "I get it."

  "But you're skin and bones, Toni Michele. You need to eat. And I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. So let me fix you something."

I stood up and rolled my eyes. She paused the show and led me out and to the kitchen. "Jan, you treat me like a baby."

  "I do not. Now sit down at the table."

  "See what I mean? This is exactly what I am talking about." I reluctantly sat on a barstool at the island while she rooted through the fridge. "You didn't even ask me what I wanted to eat."

  "Well? What do you want, Toni?"

  I thought for a moment. "I really just want a big bowl of cereal."

  "Jesus, Christ..." she shut the fridge and rubbed her forehead.

  "I'm serious! What? Aren't we watching Saturday morning cartoons? I just want some cereal. It's too late for anything heavy, anyway." I got up and made my way to the pantry, looking for my favorite—Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I knew she had it; she made sure it was stocked specifically for me. It was my go-to midnight snack.

  "Alright, well, go ahead. But tomorrow, you need meat."
 
  "Understandable." I poured the bowl and she set the milk next to me. "And I'm gonna need a little something else later on tonight," I muttered. She smacked my ass. I squealed.

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