Old Friends (Janet and Toni Fanfic)

Chapter 13

Toni

I wasn't supposed to be the one to feel guilty, yet somehow I did. It was that look on her face, and the way her bottom lip was quivering--we were that close--the way her eyes were wet and glossy with tears that threatened to spill if she had to say one word.

"Jan," I started so gently so that I wouldn't break her, "come inside, we need to talk." I held out my hand, and she took it slowly, almost as if she was afraid I would take her some place that she didn't want to be. Her hand was cold and a little sweaty, but it was the last thing I was thinking about.

"Sit. Are you cold? Your hands are freezing," I squeezed my hands in hers as we took seats on the couch. She didn't respond, but I kept them in my grip, just because that's what I felt like she needed. Even if she was the one at fault for a majority of this, I could see that she was still hurting and needed someone.

"Janet, what is this, huh? What are we?" I finally inquired. "It's only been, what, a week? And I'm already in over my head with all of this. It's already too much for me."

"I don't know," She finally responded, her already quiet voice just barely audible, shaky, raspy. Did I do this to her?

"Well we have to figure something out. It's not fair to either of us to string each other along. You're my best friend first, and I don't wanna lose that for anything in the world. Not even you."

I squeezed her hand harder, beckoning a single tear from her left eye. It made a lump form in my own throat. Janet shook her head and hung her head down.

"Toni, I'm sorry. For abandoning you, for not returning your calls, not checking up on you, everything. And I'm not gonna make any excuses for myself. But I want you to know that I'm here now, and it's not going to happen again. You can still tell me anything. You can still trust me with your life. I swear to you, nothing has changed about that, and nothing is going to."

Now I was the one breaking down. The way her voice cracked with sincerity, and the way she stared through my eyes and right into my soul; tears flowed like a broken dam and they only came harder as she tried to wipe them away with her thumbs.

"I don't like arguing. And I don't like when you're mad at me. So can we stop? Do you forgive me?" Janet asked me.

"Yes." That's all I could muster up as she pulled me into a hug, my tears soaking her leather jacket. My emotions always seemed to get the best of me. I heard her sniffle a couple of times too; we were both complete wrecks, but it felt good to hug her again. My best friend was back.

We pulled away after a while and just looked at each other. She was beautiful in any situation, even if she'd just been crying, and I'm sure I looked like a mess with my makeup all over my face. She still held onto my torso, just running her hands up and down my back. It felt nice.

"Jan?"

"Yes?" She still seemed a little out of it, like her mind was somewhere else.

"About me and Face, um-"

"I don't want to talk about him right now." She waved her hand dismissively and inched closer to me, swiftly unhooking my bra in the back and sliding it off of my arms. Then she took off her own jacket and threw it over the back of the couch before laying me down onto it. Her now warm hands massaged my breasts slowly. "All I wanna do is make it up to you. Is that okay?"

I wanted to protest as she planted one solid kiss in the center of my chest, but it caused my body to arch a little toward her and diminish my case.

"Jan, we-"

"Just say okay," she cooed, planting more moist and gentle kisses all over the side of my neck. I closed my eyes in total ecstasy. How could anyone say no to her?

"Okay."

Once again, this was happening without having talked about anything regarding our relationship. It proved not to be as important as I thought it should have been before this whole situation; it always became an afterthought, and I really was okay with that, for now. She had a way of taking my mind off of everything. 

"Whatever you want, Toni." Janet unbuttoned my pants and looked me deep in the eyes. She leaned closer, to the point that her lips touched my ear as she said, "Anything you ask. Tell me."

To which I responded:
"Take me upstairs."

Babyface

Once again. I would get so close with Toni, and then, somehow, always, she was just out of my reach. The person holding her there? Janet.

I was back at my house now, drinking a beer and trying to put all of the pieces together. It was all connected. I could feel it.

So maybe Toni was a little drunk tonight, which would explain the way she came onto me. She came to her senses after a  little while and decided it was not what she wanted. Okay, I'm not complaining-it was great while it lasted. Interestingly enough, Janet is there when it's all said and done. Coincidence? Okay. Fine.

But she was there that morning, when I tried to apologize to her. And that probably meant she was there the night before, when Toni declined my plans to go to dinner. She was probably the reason Toni was so distant and distracted in the studio that day and at the concert. I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but it all added up, as odd as it was.

Janet and Toni were seeing each other.

Did I see it coming? Hell no. But did it surprise me? I mean, in the 90's, all three of us were basically at the height of our careers. Toni and Janet were always together at every award show, every release party, anything. If I remember correctly, Janet was with someone at the time, but if I'm not mistaken, she's with someone now. That's  none of my business, and to be honest, I really don't care.

What I do care about is the fact that she's stealing all the attention from the woman that could have my children. This isn't just a little crush that I can just forget about. I really do feel like we are supposed to be together; Toni just doesn't know it yet.

But I am prepared to make it as clear to her as possible, and very soon. She'll be asking herself, Janet who?