Brave ~ Sequel to Jay Cee El

Chapter Thirty Three ~ It's Got To Suck

Here is the next chapter! Sorry I haven't updated in a while :/

Enjoy!

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Liz’s P.O.V

                I wiped my cheeks, riding the tears. It seems like I spent half the tour crying and the other half fighting off stupid cheating rumors. But that the thing. I don’t even know if they are rumors or not! It’s the worst feeling ever. I’m here in Utah while he’s in California. Or did they go back to Montana yet?

                See that’s just it! We haven’t spoken it such a long time that I have no clue what’s going on in his life. Did he finally realize that he could have someone so much prettier, skinner, nicer, sweeter, and has a better voice then I do? I don’t know.

                The worst part is that I can feel my insecurities coming back. It’s like a black hole sweeping me in. I hate being so insecure at times. No one really understand how bad it gets for me. How bad it gets for everyone like me. To feel like you’re not worth it. To feel like everyone around you is getting sick of you. To feel like everyone is going to leave you. To feel like you are useless and that no one really likes you. It’s the worst feeling in the world, and I can’t escape it.

                I want to believe that I’m a pretty girl. I want to believe what the fans tell me. Or what the girls tell me, or even Niall when we were talking. I want to believe that I have a pretty face, but I just… can’t. It’s like impossible for me. It’s so hard and I hate it. I would never wish it upon anyone else.

                No one deserves to feel like this. No one deserves to feel worthless. Which is why I spent half the night writing another song. it feels good to let all my feelings out into a song. I’m not sure if I’m going to show Julie or Caitlin. I just needed to vent my insecurities in a positive way. Something that would help all the other people who have trouble believing that they are amazing and beautiful in their own way.

“Liz, c’mon we have to get to the interview.” Caitlin said. I jumped up from the spot on the hotel and turned on the sink.

“Okay, I’ll be out in a minute.” I said. I heard Caitlin mumble something as I splashed cold water on my face. I hope this makes my eyes look a little less puffy and red.

                I applied a little mascara, glad that the NMP is over. We’ll be doing another one but we aren’t sure when. Dylan is in charge of setting it up and what not. Okay, time to go and be the happy Liz everyone knows me as.

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“Well Liz, we’ve heard some rumors about your boyfriend with another girl. I know that it’s a bit personal, but the fans are all dying to know.” Kelly, the interviewer asked. I sighed, knowing this question would pop up.

“Uh… as far as I know they are just rumors.” I said, feeling Caitlin’s hand on my back. Julie was on the other side of Caitlin, so she couldn’t reach me.

“Oh…okay.” Kelly said, sensing that there was something wrong with this. Great, now it’s going to be all over the place. Fans are going to tweet about. Niall will realize he’s busted and date Cindy. Then I’ll be alone forever. I should start buying cats now.

                Luckily she didn’t mention any relationships after that and it was strictly about our music and the tour. The interview was only about an hour, so it was over pretty quickly. It wasn’t going to air until tomorrow morning, but we’ll all be in Idaho by then. Then we have a concert that night and then we are off into Montana. Ugh, we are hitting up so many states in such a small amount of time.

                We decided against changing until we got to the bus. I don’t know how the fans found out, but there was a crowd of fans outside. The security here had to push the fans back while out security got us to the bus without any of us getting hurt. Well actually I got a pair of sunglasses thrown at me. It hurt a little bit but hey… I got a new pair of sunglasses.

“That was crazy. I never know that a place like this would have so many fans.” I said, sitting down on the bus.

“I know! You never really here about Utah and we have so many fans here. It’s amazing.” Caitlin said. Julie walked in and immediately went to her bunk. She hasn’t been in the best mood, which was also the reason why she didn’t talk much in the interview.

                We were in Colorado yesterday and we were with her family. Unfortunately because we are on such a fast schedule she only got to see them for a few hours. I feel really, really bad for her. But we are going to be on our break soon and she’s going to be spending the two weeks in Colorado at her parents place.

“I feel so bad for her. It’s got to suck.” Caitlin said.

“Yeah, I know.”

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Sorry this chapter is so sucky and short. I’m tired and just… I can’t even write.

Please VOTE and COMMENT my lil’ Gummy Worms!!

~Amanda<3 xXx