American Woman

Chapter 40

That visit from Lisa made something finally snap, or click rather, in my mind. I was so done living like this. I had become a worthless and useless human over the past year. I was determined to put a stop to it. And I did. I stopped cold turkey and never looked back. Lenny, however, didn't miss a beat. I couldn't fathom how getting limited time with his daughter didn't even make him pull back on the reigns a little bit. In his mind, it was all Lisa's fault. She was the bitch that took Zoe away from him. He never once stopped to think it may be him in the wrong. I didn't blame Lisa. Even though I missed seeing Zoe on a more consistent basis, I knew I would have done the same thing if I were in Lisa's shoes. I, of course, didn't tell Lenny that bc I didn't want to endure his wrath and I felt it was my duty to side with my husband. Without weed or alcohol in my system, I tend to push down my feelings and avoid confrontation. I wish I could have some of the guts I have while high, but without actually consuming anything. I wouldn't allow Lenny to place the blame on Lisa in front Zoe, so we just told her it was a scheduling conflict and her dad needed to get back to music and touring. And that was partially true. Lenny did finally have a new album coming out in spring of 1998. Right before the new year, he told me he was going to start touring again hardcore and asked if I wanted to join him. I told him I had been thinking about going back to school and finally finishing my degree. It had been almost 4 years since Lenny and I got married and I left school. I was almost 24 years old and figured it was now or never. Lenny wasn't overly thrilled about my decision, but he didn't push it too much. I enrolled that January and began taking a full load of classes. In late February, Lenny left for a three month European tour. He planned to come back to the states and tour in May when his album dropped.
We would talk on the phone as much as possible but we were both so busy that our conversations never lasted more than a few minutes at a time. I kept myself occupied with my school work and even met a few cool people in some of my classes. Most were a few years younger than me, but at least they were fun to chat with and occasionally study or grab a meal with. Of course, as soon as they would find out who I was married to, the conversation would stay on that topic for a long time. On the night of my birthday in March, I had dozed off in a bit of a funk that I hadn't heard from Lenny all day. Around midnight my phone rang and I answered it groggily...
"Hello?"
"Hey baby! Happy birthday! I love you!"
"Well it's actually not my birthday anymore but thank you and I love you too!"
"You would find a way to be bitchy about it, wouldn't you?" The music in the background made it so hard to hear, but it didn't sound like Lenny who said that.
"Excuse me?! I'm not bitchy. Just saying it's passed midnight so maybe "happy belated birthday!" is more appropriate."
"Oh momma just shut up would you?" I suddenly jolted up and exclaimed "Prince?!"
"The one and only!" He replied. My whole body went numb. It had been almost 2 years since I heard his voice. I missed it. I missed him. I didn't know what to say. Finally I heard him say "Jensen are you still there?"
"Yeah. Sorry! I just wasn't expecting you...at all! How are you? Is Mayte with you? I would like to say hi to her."
"No she's not with me tonight. And I'm fine. Can't complain...especially now that I have reconnected with my boy. He tells me you are at college girl these days."
I chuckle and reply "yeah about time. I'm not getting any younger. So Prince I really want to..."
"Sorry Jensen the line is starting to break up. Can you hear me? It is so damn loud in here!"
"Yeah I can hear you...."
"Well momma I gotta go. Maybe we can catch up again soon. Might have to wait until you get off for summer though, school girl." Before I could respond or apologize or say anything that was spinning in my head the line went dead. I couldn't go back to sleep that night. I never expected to hear from him or Mayte ever again, even though I thought about them fairly regularly. There was so much I wanted to say to both of them and so much I wanted to know. I still wasn't sure if their baby really died or not. I never heard what his name was. I knew nothing about them anymore. I wanted that to change. I wanted them back in my life.
The next day when I spoke to Lenny again I tried to get the answers to some of the questions that were plaguing me.
"So baby how the hell is it I was talking to Prince last night?"
"He showed up at my show in Paris. I guess he was here at his house. All I know is after the show he was in my dressing room and talking like nothing ever happened."
"Really? Well what did he say?"
"He just came in and started talking about the show and my new music and album. Trying to dish out his opinion as normal."
"So there was no mention of our falling out?"
"No. Nothing. It was like we just picked right up with being cool again. And I wasn't going to bring it up!"
"Why not? You didn't apologize?"
"'No. And he didn't either. Men just kind of move on Jensen. We don't need some emotional reconnection."
"Well I want to apologize to him...and Mayte. Was she back at their house?"
"I don't think so. I'm not sure where she is. He really didn't mention her and when I did bring her up he kind of just brushed it off and changed the subject."
"Maybe she is back at Paisley with their son."
"Jensen I really don't think that baby survived."
"Did he tell you that?"
"No and I for damn sure didn't ask. But he made no mention of having a child and wouldn't you think he would or show me a picture or something."
"Well yeah! But it is Prince we are talking about here."
"That is true babe. I sure do miss you. I'm ready be back in the states and you to have a break from school so you can join me."
"Me too. Prince said something about us all getting together again this summer. I really want to baby. I miss them. I want it all to go back to the way it used to be."
"I know. Me too. It can. Don't worry sugar, I think things are about to look up again."
I smiled thinking about having our friends back. I couldn't wait for summer to get here.