American Woman

Chapter 45

"We're gonna dance momma!" He says while picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder to the living room.
"No Prince come on. You know dancing is not my thing!"
"Says who? I've seen you dance before. I thought you danced pretty good."
"All those years of listening to loud music must have affected your eyesight instead of your ears."
"It's only you and me. Just stop being a baby and dance with me. I'll even let you pick the music. What's your poison?"
"Well who is better to dance to than...Michael Jackson." I say with a smirk.
"You are crazy if you think I own any Michael Jackson albums."
"That's ok just go get your guitar and come play and sing one of his songs for me and I'll dance."
"You better be glad I'm in such a good mood. I've never in my life done this for anyone!" He says while stomping towards his studio, returning with his infamous telecaster. Huffing and tuning it he says "what stupid song would you like to hear?"
"Hmmm let me think. They're are just so many good ones. My favorite song is Human Nature but that's not really a good one to dance to. Should I go old school or something more recent..."
"I don't need a run down of your love for Wacko Jacko's songs. Just pick one. And hurry up. I don't have all damn night."
"Ok ok! Dirty Diana!"
"You are shitting me!"
"Do you not know it? It just has amazing guitar playing in it? Who played the guitar on that song bc whoever they were...."
The rest of my sentence was drained out by Prince beginning to rip out the chords to Dirty Diana. I stood and stared as he played and sang the lyrics. I was in total awe. As he came up on the second verse he said "thought you were supposed to dance. Get with it woman!"
When he said that I instantly regretted agreeing to dance and the song choice. I wasn't really thinking about how sensual the song was when I blurted it out. I thought maybe turning my back to him might help so I couldn't see him. But then I just felt like I was trying to tempt him with my backside so I turned back around. I think I was correct in that I watched his eyes travel back up to my face from what I assume was my ass. I knew he could sense my nervousness bc he made his way over to me, still playing and singing, and started to groove with me. Just as I was starting to feel comfortable, the song was over. He removed his guitar and said, "I get to pick the next song." He walked over to his stereo and put on Rufus and Chaka Khan's "Sweet Thing." He walks back over to me and pulls my body to his body. His hands find their way to my waist and I place mine around his neck. We start swaying slowly back and forth to the music. I could feel his breathing on my neck and it sent chills to my toes. I started having thoughts and feelings no married woman should be having about  another man. I start fantasizing about him unzipping my dress and caressing my body. I wanted him so badly to take me down to the floor and make love to me. I had nothing to blame these desires on...I wasn't high, I wasn't drunk, I wasn't anything but happy. I don't know the last time I was truly happy. I don't know the last time I felt like this. I was craving his attention. I wanted him to desire me back. His song choice made me think maybe he did or if nothing else wanted to fuck me. A part of me wanted him so bad I didn't even care if that's all he wanted from me. Just as I was about to throw my wedding vows and any friendship I may still have with Mayte out the window by placing my lips on his neck, he says "Jensen I'm not sure I've ever felt anyone be on my side as much as you were tonight. It's like you had my back no matter what. Thanks for defending what I believed in."
"You're welcome. I did it bc you are so important to me, but also bc I love kids so much and truly believe in what you believe in when it comes to music education in the schools."
"You know I've said and done lots of things in my life that I regret, but what I said to you that night 2 years ago still keeps me awake sometimes."
"What about me being barren?"
"Yes." He said looking down in shame. "I had no right to say that. Whether it was true or not. It was probably the cruelest thing I've ever said to someone. And the fact I said it to you, sweet Jensen, made me feel like the biggest asshole that ever walked this Earth. I'm truly sorry."
"Well I don't think I was saying such flattering things to you either. We were both angry. Not that it's an excuse but I know I didn't mean the things I said just like you didn't mean the things you said."
He nodded and I swear I saw tears in his eyes. I laid my head on his shoulder and continued, "and if it makes you feel any better I'm not barren." He stops dancing and I raise my head up to look at him. "You're pregnant?" He says with a look of sorrow in his eyes.
"No. I'm not pregnant." He seems to let a sigh of relief and we went back to dancing with my head on his shoulder. "I just finally went to the doctor this spring while Lenny was in Europe. Now that I wasn't in such a tizzy about it I thought I could handle whatever they might tell me better."
"What did they say momma?"
"That there is no medical reason for me to not be able to conceive. He said that if we hadn't been trying for a solid year, possibly two, to not worry too much about it. That if we ever try consistently for that long and nothing happens then come back and talk to him."
"So are you ready to start trying again? You will make the best mother." My heart fluttered at those words and I again wanted nothing more than for him to take me right then and there. I resisted the temptation and kept the conversation going. "No. I don't want to try again right now. Lenny has got to get better first. And I may even want to finish my degree before I entertain that thought again."
"Well I know it will happen for you one day, somehow. I feel it. And when it does..." I knew if I didn't stop him right then I was going to do something to ruin it all between Lenny and I.
"Thank you. That's very sweet. Well Lenny is coming back tomorrow and I need to be well rested for what we plan to do. Thank you for a lovely evening."
"Thank you momma." He says as we both embrace and our breathing is so hard it's audible. I pull away and scurry to my bedroom. I laid awake that night trying to figure out what had come over me. I was married. I was supposed to be in love with Lenny. But was I? I didn't know anymore. I couldn't rid the feeling that more of me didn't want him to come back tomorrow than the part of me that did. All I could think about was Prince. How he makes me feel. How badly I wanted him...not just screwing him but how much I wanted a life that mirrored tonight. Feeling like I was part of a couple that was true team. We were magic together tonight. It took all the self control I had not to run to his bedroom and tell him all my desires and dreams. But I couldn't. Partly bc I was afraid he wouldn't feel the same and partly bc I was sworn to Lenny and I couldn't be that woman.
So I did the next best thing. Something I knew wasn't right but was better than engaging in a full on affair. I slid my hand down underneath the covers and into my panties. I worked my clit up and down, back and forth, and in circles. The whole time I imagined what it would be like to be in Prince's bed with him. To undress each other and devour each other. Just as I was building up to my release I heard a light tap on my door. Fuck! Please tell me he didn't hear anything! I was trying to keep the moaning to a minimum. I slid my hand up and looked in the mirror above the dresser to make sure I didn't look too flushed. I made my way over to the door thinking what I would do once I swung open the door. Maybe I would just let him ravish me if that's what he wanted. I was ready to live with the consequences. I rip open the door with a smile plastered on my face to see Lenny standing there. My smile immediately fades and annoyance takes over my emotions. "Hey what are you doing here?"
"Well hello to you too! I wanted to get back tonight. The bed in the hotel room last night sucked! I wasn't spending another night in it. I hope I didn't wake you. The door was locked so I had to knock. What were you doing? Why was the door locked?"
"Nothing...I was sleeping. Prince has so many workers and stuff I didn't want anyone barging in in the morning so I locked it."
"Ok well let's go to bed. I'm beat. Are you feeling any better?"
"Yeah I'm fine. Prince and I had a really good time together. He invited over some people from..."
"Jensen could you tell me tomorrow? I can barely keep my eyes open. I'll listen to anything you want to tell me tomorrow."
"Sure baby. And I have lots to talk to you about tomorrow."