American Woman

Chapter 60

The day finally arrived. I felt nauseous the entire plane ride, but I knew it had nothing to do with air sickness.  Around 3:00 we pull up to Paisley in our rental car. I have no idea what to expect. I hope I just won't be invited into the meetings and just left to hang out alone in the bedroom. Maybe I could hide out in there the entire trip and be back home before I know it.
Well no such luck! Apparently a meeting had already started and we were both ushered in there without so much as a greeting from one of Prince's staff. When we entered the office it was like we were tardy for class and everyone turns and stares at you. Some man introduced himself as Mr. Martin, I guess he was the coordinator of the event. There were a few other people in there, along with a woman who looked slightly familiar but I couldn't really place her. I assume she worked for Prince and I had seen her in passing at some point. We sat down at the table with them and they immediately started talking the in and outs of everything. The nice thing about men is they are masters at compartmentalizing. So Prince really didn't seem phased by me being there and stayed focused at the task at hand. Since I had nothing to do with any of it I just kinda zoned out. The lady, who I had caught was named Manuela, must be Prince's assistant or something bc she only seemed interested in aspects that involved Prince. She also seemed to take any opportunity she could to touch him...his hand, his shoulder, his arm. I tried to have no reaction. I didn't want him, or Lenny for sure, to think I was bothered by her obvious flirting. Hell for all I know she's his girlfriend. Maybe he and Mayte really did go through with the divorce. Maybe Manuela was the one doing the moaning that night. Fuck Jensen! Stop thinking about it!
"What do you think Jensen?" Lenny turns and asks me.
I hadn't heard anything for at least the last 5 minutes so I couldn't even fake a response. "I'm sorry about what?" As soon as I said that Prince shoots me a look as if to say 'stop saying I'm sorry.' I couldn't help but grin a little bit.
"About how much they're offering?" Lenny asks obviously annoyed I hadn't been paying attention.
"I'm not your manager. Whatever you think." I respond.
"No but you're my wife. Manuela is giving Prince advice on things."
"Oh is she his wife?" I asked sarcastically, but slightly fearful the answer would be yes.
"No, she's my assistant." Prince responds seemingly offended to some degree. I have to admit I breathed a sigh of relief that he didn't say yes. He didn't even say girlfriend, so maybe their relationship was strictly professional. At least on his end. Lenny was obviously frustrated with my lack of interest and participation and didn't seek any more advice from me the entire meeting. Around 6:00 they decided to take a dinner break. I was good to just skip dinner and head to the bedroom for the night. And that's just what I tried to do until Manuela caught me and said "are you not joining us for dinner?"
"Oh no. I had a big lunch and wasn't feeling well on the plane. I'm just going to hit the sack for the night."
"No you're not." Lenny interjects and Manuela walks off to give us privacy. "If you skip dinner that makes you seem guilty. You're on thin ice dear wife."
"Lenny I don't feel well. I just want to go to bed. And I have no business in those meetings. Just let me sleep."
"No. You don't have to go to the next meeting, but you will attend dinner. And you will be social...with everyone. If you avoid talking to him, it looks suspicious."
I think it's total bull shit but I go along with it. We all sit down at the dining room table. After a few minutes I try to think of something to say to somebody, anybody, when Manuela starts talking about Prince's donation to Chanhassen schools music department. "We went last August to see what all they had done. They had bought at least one of every instrument you could think of. They made Prince go around and test his skills on just about every instrument. The kids were amazed...."
"Oh so you went with him to that?" I interject. Prince puts his fork on the table and looks down at his plate.
"Yeah. Did you hear about his donation? It literally changed that school for the better. We went back a couple times during the school year to check up and they had done a fantastic job at..."
"So did you go as his wife or his assistant or what?" I interrupt again.
"You must be confusing me with Mayte. He used to be married to her. I'm Manuela. I'm his assistant." She laughed.
"Ohhh I must be." I say with a smirk. Lenny shoots me a look that I couldn't quite decipher and Prince hadn't looked back up from his plate. I knew I had just made the whole damn dinner table uncomfortable but I didn't care. I got up from the table and stormed to the bedroom. I could sense someone hot on my heels but I didn't turn to look and slammed the door behind me. A few seconds later, Lenny came barging in. "I knew it! I knew you fucked him! And now you're fucking jealous bc Manuela attended some stupid shit with him."
"I didn't touch him. And it wasn't stupid. I helped him convince that school to use his donation the way he intended. I wanted to be there to see what they had done."
"Oh so you help him with his deals but you won't help me with mine?! Figures."
"It's not like that. I don't know anything about music deals. In case you haven't noticed Lenny I am an education major. I was able to use my expertise to convince them why music education would benefit their school."
"Awe so that's how he got you to drop your panties so easily. He pretended to care about your dreams. You are so gullible Jensen."
"Yeah maybe I am. But for the last damn time I DID NOT have an affair. I didn't fuck him. I didn't kiss him. I didn't touch him. You either believe me or you don't. I'm done trying to plead my case."
"But you wanted to didn't you?"
"Get out Lenny. Just get out." I say and he leaves the room without another word.
I end up falling asleep at some point and didn't even hear or feel Lenny come to bed. Around 2:00am I woke up dying of thirst and afraid I couldn't go back to sleep since I crashed so early. I decided to go get some water and maybe that would help me go back to sleep if my throat wasn't so dry. I walk as quietly as I can to the kitchen knowing there was a good chance Prince was still awake in the house somewhere. Thankfully he wasn't in the kitchen so I quickly poured a small glass of water, slammed it down my throat, and hurried back to the bedroom. About half way back, an arm shot out of Prince's door and grabbed me and pulled me into the room. "Let go of me!" I exclaimed.
"Just shut up, sit down, and listen to me. You are going to listen to me this time if I have to tie you to a chair."  Prince demands.
I sit down on the edge of the bed. "What? Hurry up. I want to go back to bed."
"First of all, I'm sorry about the thing with the school. I wanted you to come but you wouldn't even let me get a sentence out anytime I called you."
"Well did you have to take somebody? You could have just gone alone. She's all taking credit for something I helped with."
"She wasn't taking credit. She is really into charity work and I'm helping her start a foundation. It was right up her ally so I invited her when I knew it was apparent you weren't going."
"Well isn't that cute? Is that how you do it every time? You pretend to share the same interests in hopes they will spread their legs for you. Did she have to pretend she was your wife?"
"No! To all of that! I've never slept with her. I have no desire to sleep with her."
"Well she wants to fuck your brains out."
"No she doesn't. Our relationship is strictly professional. And that's all it will ever be. Why do you care so much anyway?"
"I don't! I just don't want her pretending like she had anything to do with that donation. She wasn't any part of it. I was!"
"Ok fine. She hasn't. And she won't. Anyway that isn't what I wanted to talk to you about. I want to talk about us."
"Us? There is no us. And there never will be."
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes. How is that not obvious?"
"Are you happy Jensen?"
"Yes as a matter of fact I am. I am working and going to school. I will be finished with my degree soon."
"Congratulations. I'm happy for you. And proud of you. But are you happy with Lenny?"
"I don't know how any of this is your business? Are you happy with Mayte?"
"Jensen she and I divorced months ago..."
"But not before one last romp in the sack!"
"Did you not read any of my letters?!"
"No. Why?"
"I explained everything. I just thought you had read them and didn't care. Or that maybe by some miracle Lenny had actually stayed clean and y'all were repairing your relationship. That's why I stopped writing. I didn't want to bother you if you were happy again. But he's not clean. I can tell. And you're not happy."
"Ok Prince fine. You got me. He's still a pothead and I can't stand him. Is that what you want to hear? That I'm miserable with him. Ok I'm miserable with him. Why do you care?"
"No that's not what I want to hear. I was truly hoping you were happy. It kills me that you're not. I care bc I care about you. Will you finally let me explain what happened last summer?"
"Not that it matters anymore but fine. What happened? Why was she in your bedroom moaning in the middle of the night?"
"Thank God. Finally!" He said sitting down on the bed next to me. "Ok she and I had finally settled everything. I was ready to claw my eyeballs out and rip my hair out. I agreed to give her way more than I originally intended but I was just ready to be done. And she wasn't backing down for anything less. So around midnight she finally signed off on it and I went straight to my bedroom. I was thrilled it was finished and was excited to tell you about it the next day and finally tell you how I felt about you. So I wanted to not dwell on all I was losing to her and just get a good nights sleep so I could be well rested for you. So as soon as I got to my bedroom I went to the bathroom and took a couple sleeping pills. They are called Ambien and they aren't even approved by FDA currently. But I have terrible insomnia and my doctor gave me some one time. I had only ever taken them a couple times before but they do a number on me. I've heard some people hallucinate on them or get up and drive their car and never know it...just crazy shit. Well I immediately pass out and about an hour later I wake up to someone in my bed kissing my neck. I swear to God I thought it was you. I could barely see but it smelled like you. So I started kissing them back. I was so excited that you had come to me. It was confirmation that you were feeling the same way about me. So I made out with 'you' for a few minutes and then you took my hand and put it between your legs so I started pleasuring you with my fingers and you started moaning. After a few minutes you came and I said "oh god Jensen I've wanted this for so long." And as soon as I said that you exclaim "what?! I'm not Jensen. Its Mayte!" And I scrambled to turn on the lights thinking you were joking but it really was her. I was furious and she and I ended up getting into a screaming match. I can't believe you didn't hear that?!"
"That was probably during the half hour I was frantically searching the house for you hoping you weren't in your bedroom."
"Oh baby!" He says and grabs my hand. I jerk it away. "Continue." I reply.
"There's really nothing else to tell. She accused me of having an affair with you. I denied it. I asked her why she had come in there and she said she just wanted one last time with me or some shit. And I kicked her out of my room and told her she better be gone before I got up the next day. And she was."
Oh my god!" I exclaimed covering my mouth. "I bet she called Lenny. I bet that's why he just happened to magically appear the next day."
"Fuck! You are probably right. I never believed they released him willingly."
"Who knows. He claims that they did. But he is convinced we had an affair. She must have told him we had."
"Oh well. Who cares? We both know the truth. Let them think what they want. You believe me don't you momma? I wanted you. It killed me the next day when you left."
"I don't know. I guess I believe you."
"It's the truth Jensen. I promise. I thought she was you. I wanted it to be you. I still want you. Do you want me? Did you ever want me?"
"I wanted you yes. More than anything. I was ready to leave Lenny for you." His eyes lit up and he dove for me and started leaving soft, wet kisses up and down my neck. It felt so good I didn't bother to stop him. I got lost in the moment and began moaning. He started to lay me back on his bed and that's when I snapped back to reality and raised up. "Wait. Stop. We can't do this."
"Ok. Yeah I know. Momma I will wait for you, don't worry. I've waited this long. I can wait until you get divorced."
"No. That's not what I meant. Our time has passed. I don't want to be with you now."
"Why? What has changed? I told you what what happened with Mayte was an accident. What else would change your mind about not wanting to be together?"
"It's just different now. I am thinking more clearly now. We can't be together. It will never work."
"You don't know that. I can make you happy Jensen. Just let me show you. Please baby. I've never felt like this before. I've never begged a woman to be with me. I've never dwelled on someone the way I have you. I can't get you out of my head. I want you. I need you."
"In another world maybe it would have been possible, but it's just too complicated. You were with Mayte, who was my best friend. And I'm still with Lenny, who was your best friend. I mean we were in your fucking wedding! What would people think?"
"I don't give a damn! I've never cared what anyone thinks. This is my life. And we haven't done anything wrong Jensen. We never committed adultery. Our consciouses are clean."
"It's not just that. You live here and my life is in LA. We just have two completely separate lives."
"Those are lame excuses Jensen. We could figure it out. It's not as complicated as you think. I have a residence in LA in case you have forgotten. There is nothing so complicated we couldn't figure it out. If you really want this we could make it work."
"I guess I just don't want it bad enough." I say and get up to leave the room.
"Jensen please. Just think about it. Don't give up on what could be. You could be happier than you've ever imagined. I promise you."
"No. It's just not in the cards for me. I'm leaving tomorrow. Don't contact me. Just let me be in peace please. I'll see you at the new years concert ok? It sounds like it is going to be spectacular! Thanks for including Lenny." And with that I walk out of his bedroom for what I intend to be the last time.