Stay Alive // Harry Styles Fanfic

Chapter 41

Chapter song:  Free Animal - Foreign Air 

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"Harry! Listen to me!" I shout following him to the living room.

"WHAT?!" He growls turning around and looking at me

"Damn it! You think I wanted this!?"

"Wanted what Hazel Rose?" Harry says running his fingers through his hair.

"To fall in love with you!!" I scream out.

"Sadly for you, I don't feel the same w--"

"I don't believe you. Why are you fighting it!?"

"You don't understand do you!?" Harry shouts. I see the paranoid panicked look on his face.

"No quite frankly I don't! Why are you freaking out!?" I shout.

"Hazel, you--you're--" He says stuttering trying to find his words, "I'm NOT the man you should be falling in love with! Im not the perfect guy you long for! I'm fuc.ked up! Mentally!! and you find a way to romanticize that! It's appalling!" Harry screams.

"I'm not Harry! damn it let me be there for you!" I shout.

"I didn't marry Tiffany and...and you just--"

"I just what?! I didn't make you make love to me!!"

"Do not call it that because that is not what is was!" Harry growls in a deep intimidating tone. My face drops and I feel myself tearing up..."Don't Hazel Rose, you knew this!"

"I just thought--"

"You thought you could fix me!? Like every girl whose come into my life thought?! That they could fix me?! I fu.ck them, they think her and I have a connection and then they fall in love with me just to end up getting heart broken! "

"No, Harry I just thought that your heart was bigger than what you want to let on! But you're right! It's my fault!! It's my fault for allowing you, someone who could care less about me, take the only thing I had....the only thing that made me different!" I scream into his face

"I didn't want to!!" Harry shouts back, "I didnt want to do this to you! You deserve someone who loves you! But you.. you allowed me!! God I--" Harry says screaming into my face back.

"I--" He's right. What was I going to say? "How could he take my virginity and not love me?" I could never say that to him. Because he warned me, he has every right in this fight. I was the one who consented to it. I was the one who imagined a fake love story with him. I deserve this.

"We had se.x that is all! That is it! I don't love you! I don't have feelings for you! I don't--" He shouts breaking my heart into tinier pieces. My chest hurt and I began to feel a burning feeling trickle down my body. 

"What do you want then Harry!? From me!? What do you want?!" I exclaim cutting him off.

"I want you to stop insisting that I have feelings for you!" Harry answers loudly,

"I should of stayed at Liam's the night you got drunk!!" I cry out, "I left him, I left him thinking some crap person like you felt some way toward me! HE could of been my first love, HE could of protected me better than you could ever--"

"Hazel stop." Harry says clenching his fists. I noticed but ignored it.

"He could of been my first fuc.k!" I shout angrily, regretting last night with Harry. Wishing I would take it all back.

"Dammit Hazel Rose!! ENOUGH!!" He screams as his fist connects the wall next to him.

"Harry!" I shout getting in front of him and putting my hands on his chest. He grabs my wrists and presses me against the wall.