...
"Kev, do you have enough room in your car to take Janelle and I back to campus?"
"Oh yeah. Definitely. When I saw you earlier I already knew I was gonna take you home." I raised my eyebrow. "Oh so you were just plotting the whole time huh," I laughed. He caught on to what he had said and clarified. "I didn't mean it like that," he laughed. "I meant that I wasn't gonna let y'all take an Uber back to campus at this hour."
I turned to go get Janelle. "Uh huh. Sure," I teased. He grabbed me from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist. "But," he said in my ear, "if you wanna come home with me tonight that is most certainly an option." I giggled as his hands tickled my waist and his lips grazed my cheek. He turned my face to his and pecked my lips several times. "Okay mackdaddy," I teased, "I'd love too, but I have to make sure that Janelle is straight first. "Alright," he said as he kissed me on the cheek. "I'm gonna go check on the homies and see if they're ready to go."
A short while later we arrived back to campus. Kevin dropped his friends off at their dorm first, then drove Janelle and I to ours.
....
When Janelle and I got into her room I helped her get ready for bed.
"You going to Kevin's tonight," Janelle asked with a grin. "Yeah. Why? Do I need to stay here with you? You gon' be okay by yourself?"
Janelle grinned sleepily. "No. I want you to go out and have fun. I'll be fine. Gosh, I forgot how much of a mom you are," she teased. I laughed. "Because I'm not gonna leave you here alone if you need me." Janelle climbed into bed and got underneath the covers. "Girl. Go have fun," she yawned."
"Okay," I huffed. "I put your phone on the charger and I put two bottles of water in the fridge for you. Also I left some Tylenol out for you to take in the morning, along with some crackers and a ginger ale. If you need me, call me."
"Okay mom," Janelle teased. "I'm only going to have a hangover in the morning. I've gone through this before. I'll be fine. Go. Kevin's waiting on you."
I sighed, "Okay," but didn't move. Janelle looked up at me from her pillow. "You're still here," she mumbled, "why?" "I'm a little nervous," I whispered. "I've never stayed the night at his apartment before and we're trying the no sex thing and---"
"You want to fuck him," Janelle said matter-of-factly. She looked up at me and grinned. "Yes," I grimaced. "Giiirl," Janelle laughed quietly. "Then go fuck him."
"It's not that simple," I replied.
"If you don't get out of my room and stop playing. He's a good guy. Talk to him about what you're feeling. Isn't that what your moral ass would tell me?"
I huffed and turned to head to the door. "I guess you're right." I turned the door knob. "Later J. I love you."
"Love you too, Lys."
I met Kevin outside of her room. "Everything straight?"
"Yeah. She's good."
"Good. Do you need to run past your room and grab anything?"
"Yeah. I do," I said as we headed to the second floor. I went into my room and grabbed my backpack off of the chair. I quickly shoved a few things inside and headed out of the door.
....
After about fifteen minutes we arrived to Kevin's place. He grabbed my bag out of the backseat and threw it over his shoulder. We walked into his apartment and did the usual routine of taking off our shoes and plopping down onto the sofa. We both collapsed lazily onto one another. I guess the night out had taken a toll on both of us.
I sat up a little and leaned back into his chest. He draped his arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. For a few moments we sat just like that; not saying anything. I grabbed his hand and interlocked my fingers with his. He brought our interwoven hands to his lips and kissed the back of it; the words I love you falling out of my mouth before I could shove them back in. I sat under his embrace, eyes widened in horror. "Oh my goodness," I thought to myself, "It's only been two months! What if he doesn't say it back?"
I was still, as to not make any sudden movements. I hoped that the words had flew over his head and that he didn't hear it. My heart was now beating in my ears. Kevin readjusted his seating position so that he could look at me; maybe hear me better. I tried to wish myself invisible. "I love you too," was all he said; and not because he was obligated to say it back, but because he meant it. He kissed the top of my head again as we both sat in the moment, our thoughts only dwelling on each other.
"You wanna know something," he started.
"Hm?"
"You're the first woman I've been with to tell me that she loves me first." "Well I'm glad I got to be your first," I grinned as I leaned my head back to kiss him. He chuckled and kissed me long and deeply; as if my breath was his too.
Before I knew it seconds turned into minutes and his body towered over me, his hands begging me out of my clothes. I was housed under the weight of his body and grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. My hands raked through his locs and occasionally ran over the width of his back. I wanted to feel him everywhere. I lowered my hands to tug at his jeans, and though his lips didn't want to stop tasting me, he came up for air. He pulled me up from the couch and led me into his bedroom.
He grabbed the sides of my neck and kissed me until I could no longer stand. I sat on the bed and leaned back, pulling him down with me. I removed each piece of fabric from his skin, kissing the parts of him that slowly became exposed. He leaned over me and opened the drawer on his night stand, his hand fumbling over crinkling foil. The more I could feel him throbbing heavily against me, the more I wanted to feel him inside of me. I pushed him on his back and straddled him. Grabbing the condom from his hands, I slowly slid it up the length of him. Before I could do anything further, I was lying on my back looking up at Kevin through the darkness. I grinned and pulled him into me, wrapping my legs around his waist. As he slowly slid in between my legs, I held my breath, my body giving way to accommodate him. He watched my eyes widen, a sigh lingering at the edge of my lips. My hand traveled to his lower back and begged him not to stop. His hips rocked me back into myself until his name fell out of my mouth like a praise. As we clung to each other he kissed me everywhere that he wasn't, my body becoming a revelation in his arms.
....
When it was day break, Kevin was laying on my chest. I chuckled to myself. It was sweet seeing him this way. I stroked his hair and moved it out of his face. I kissed his forehead and smiled as I took in the moment. Minutes passed before he started to stir, his eyes slowly opening. He looked up at me and kissed me several times on the lips. "Good morning," he said huskily.
"Morning."
He smiled, a certain peace lingering over him. "I need you to sleep over more often, because that was the best sleep I've had in a while." I laughed. "Maybe I will." He wrapped an arm around me and playfully kissed my jawline and then my neck.
"What's on your agenda today," he mumbled against my skin.
"Not much. I'm supposed to go to the library with Janelle later. We have a lot of studying to catch up on."
"Oh word? I'm supposed to be going over there today too. I'm meeting up with a couple of my friends to get a head start on our group project."
"Hey. What are the odds?"
Kevin sat up. "We could all head over together if y'all want, but then again," he chuckled, "I ain't trynna be the boyfriend that imposes on you and your friends." I leaned back and raised my eyebrow at him. "What," he said looking at me. "Boyfriend," I questioned. He grinned. "I mean, you already told me that you loved me," he said pecking my lips, "unless you only said that because you wanted to use me for my sex," he laughed. I playfully hit him on the arm. "Stop it. That is not true. I really do love you." Admitting it for a second time didn't feel as strange as the first, but it was still odd nonetheless. I couldn't figure out why though. I had loved other guys before, but somehow he felt like the first.
"I know," Kevin smiled, "I love you too." Hearing those words brought up feelings in me that I didn't know how to name yet. I crawled over to him and straddled his hips. I bent down and gave him a few short kisses to savor, each one different from the last. He rubbed his hands up and down the length of my back, before kissing each naked shoulder. I relished in it for a moment before we had to leave the bed and prepare for the day, a task neither one of us wanted to do.
Hours after I left Kevin, I could still feel his lips on my skin and his hands touching me everywhere. I smiled to myself. Now isn't that a metaphor for always?
