Adopted Without a Sin

Chapter Fifty

Trigger warning

Lafayette curled herself into a ball on the bathroom floor, sobbing as she held a broken pencil sharpener in her hand. "No, no, no." She mumbled under her breathe, trying to hold tears back. Her mind kept saying yes, but she just couldn't. Looking back and forth between her clean wrists and the broken pieces of the pencil sharpener, she continued to cry. She couldn't help but think of what was her only option.

Lafayette takes the blade out of the pieces and just stared at it. She stared at it long and hard. Her heavy and shaky breathes made her choke. Lafayette needed to breathe, she needed to breathe the right way. She closed her eyes before deciding what to do.

Looking back at what her childhood was like, friends coming and going, family burning, her sister is far from her, not knowing her father but thinking he was a cruel man for leaving her all came back to her before placing the blade to her wrist.

Lafayette didn't cut, she just thought for a while, looked at what her wrists look like. They are clean and clear, not harmed at all. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she looked at them more.

"Screw it," Lafayette muttered and slit her wrist with the blade. She squealed and dropped the blade on the ground, a hand quickly going to her wrist. Blood dripped through her fingers. Lafayette cried harder from the pain.

The more and more she cut, the more she felt the blame.

~•~

Lafayette curled up in a ball in her bed, a flashback was all she needed right now. She started to cry and wouldn't stop. All this time, she didn't need to worry about the scars on her wrists. Lafayette told Murphy it was nothing, lied to him and also lying to the most important man in her life, her dad who asked if she was alright. She told Misha that she was fine. It's always I'm fine. It hurts her to tell Misha lies, the man who toke her in as his own child.

Misha loves her very much but only gets tiny glimpses of her wrists. Lafayette's scars are faded but still visible if you just focus. She likes wearing jackets and long sleeves to hide them. It just scares her to wear short sleeved shirts and for someone to notice her scars.

A knock on the door was heard and Lafayette quickly put herself under the covers, trying to hide her tears. "Kitten, what's wrong?" She heads Misha's voice and him opening the door. Misha went straight to Lafayette's bed and sat on the edge of it.

"Please talk to me, not answering wouldn't help you," Misha said, gently pulling the covers off of Lafayette. Lafayette looked into his eyes, they are full of worry, his blue eyes soon turned dark with that worry.

Lafayette's sleeves were rolled up, Misha automatically looked at the faint scars. "Oh, kitten. I'm so sorry. This must be on me. I should've been here for you more. I'm sorry. I'll won't do as many comic cons, I'll try to get a little fewer days. This is my fault. I'm so sorry! I'm such a bad father!" Misha choked on his own breathing. "Dad, it's not your fault, I did this before you adopted me. Don't you think it's your fault, it's all mine? I did this to myself!" Lafayette cried.

"What can I do?" Misha asked. "What?" Lafayette looked at him confused. "What can I do to make it all better. I don't want you to harm yourself. Please, I don't want you to cut yourself. Your too amazing and kind, your fragile and sweet." Misha started to tear up as he talked. He remembered when he was a child, he had it rough and didn't want his children to get through a rough childhood.

"Don't do this to yourself again, please," Misha told Lafayette. "I won't, I swear. I'm happy here, with you and mom, West, and Maison." Lafayette answered. Tears still flowing down
Lafayette's cheeks, a tear finally started to slowly go down Misha's cheek."Dad, I don't want you to cry. Please don't cry." Lafayette said. Lafayette wrapped her arms around Misha's neck, hugging him.

"You are too pure for this world. The world doesn't deserve you. You don't deserve to be on it." Misha said, sniffling as he did. "If I wasn't in this world, I wouldn't be here with you. I want to be with you all the time. I love you too much!" Lafayette told Misha. "I love you more Kitten, no matter no much you would say I love you more, I love you more than that. You're a kind of special that is too rare and I can't let go of you." Misha hugged Lafayette tighter than he ever hugged anyone.

(Hey guys. It's chapter fifty. This makes me so emotional. You guys are the best I love you guys a lot. Without writing, I wouldn't be as happy as I am. I'm taking a small break from this book so I could write others and write more chapters to this and think thing through for more chapters. There's going to be something new where there are a few chapters that are called Italic chapters where it's started with something in Italic. The meaning behind this idea is where it will be easier to help Lafayette find out who she is.)

More chapters on the way. Don't forget to ask as many questions as you want about the book!