The birth of the Blue Phoenix - Book 2 (MxM 18+)

Chapter 6: Punishments

Aiden, Wed Dec 19th 2012

I'm sitting at my desk, silently crying. Fuck! This must be the third time since yesterday afternoon. I am not the crying type, though. In fact there is only one thing in the world that manages to pull a tear or two out of me – like right now, with one salty drop slowly running along my cheek – and it is the memory of a sixteen-year old blonde boy with blue eyes. Almost exactly like the one that visited me yesterday.

I thought I saw a ghost at first, when he entered my office. He looked so much like him! Obviously an older version of him since he seemed to be closer to twenty than sixteen but still, the likeness was striking. After my first reaction of surprise, I quickly tried to get a grip on myself. This was just a prospective Sub and he was probably very different from him.

Except the resemblance wasn't only physical. He had the same reserved attitude, the same smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, and when he said he wanted to be a Submissive just to please his boyfriend, something felt off. At that moment, I should have just sent him away: becoming a Sub for the pleasure of a partner who is refusing to properly train as a Dom is wrong on so many levels! But I wanted to know more about him, to help him in some way.

So I began the usual theoretical speech I generally give Submissives at the start of their training, insisting a lot on safety, consent and safewords. I could see his discomfort each time I pronounce the word abuse, and even if he lied pretty well, I have learnt the hard way to look for the signs. I had the last proof I needed when I told him to strip down to his underwear.

I usually wait for the second or the third training session to go to that point, but I was pretty sure there would be no such thing with him. Plus he has a gorgeous body and I admit I was curious to look at more of it. The yellow bruise I saw on his belly was the last piece of evidence that convinced me. When I asked how he'd gotten it, he replied he had fallen.

He had fallen a lot too... and when I realized what the source of his injuries had been, it had already been too late.

I didn't confront Zach on his lie, that would have been pointless, he would have just blathered more of them. For the whole rest of the session I solely focused on teaching him the positions to try to avoid focusing on the inner fight in my mind. I could see he was physically abused, and probably emotionally, too. So, of course, my first reaction was to beat the shit out of the asshole that called himself his boyfriend and take the little cutie away to safety.

Except it's not as simple as that. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help himself. You can present them with a door that will lead to their escape, but going through it has to be their decision! My mother's words were ringing in my head. She knows her shit, being one of the best therapists in New York. Last time I didn't listen to her... and I don't want to think again about how it ended.

That's why even if it did hurt to do so, I let the blonde twink go. At the last moment before he left though, I grabbed his hand and told him I knew, while looking at him intently. I gave him an escape door, my emergency phone number. Even if I am in the midst of a scene or plainly busy at the club, it will be redirected to the security room and someone will always be there to answer it. I didn't force my help on him, I made the right decision this time – at least I hope it was. I will have to ask my mom about it.

But damn it hurts! Ever since yesterday, I can't seem to think of something other than him. I see his scared blue eyes listening to my little speech before escaping like a mad man, over and over again. I hope he realizes that he can't keep on like this before he is too badly injured, that he saw I only want to help. I don't know why he has become an obsession of mine already: I barely know anything about him...