The birth of the Blue Phoenix - Book 2 (MxM 18+)

Chapter 57: Fighting step-backs

Aiden, Thu May 16th 2013

Hearing my Baby tell the story of his personal hell with the son of a bitch who called himself his boyfriend again is almost harder than the first time. I can't hold his hand to comfort him when I see him tense up, since he's on the other side of the room, in the witness seat next to the judge. Of course, this is all necessary if we want Thomas to rot in jail, but I don't like one bit of it.

My Baby isn't as strong as he appears. He has been waking up screaming in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, either because he relived Tanner killing Romero, or after having a nightmare about his gang-rape of last New Year's Eve. Obviously, the prospect of testifying has been working him up in some way, and there will probably be more of these incidents in the coming days. I know he's going to be alright in the end, he will just need a lot of love and comfort.

His past with the ex asshole is not the only thing that is getting in his head. His short abduction left a few more scars than we thought. He was fine getting out of the loft with me, but he freaked out when he went to the club on his own last Tuesday. We had decided he would come to the Blue Hedonism for dinner since he was bored on his own in the loft, and the pain in his butt had receded to acceptable levels.

He arrived by running into my office, terrified, and curled up on my lap, shaking like a leaf. It took me the longest time to calm him down, gently patting his back and pecking his head. When he had relaxed enough, he explained to me how he suddenly panicked when he was alone on the sidewalk, then ran here. He was doing so well I hadn't thought to ease him into wandering the streets on his own.

When he had to go to the club yesterday evening, he refused my offer to return to the loft to escort him. My Baby can be so stubborn... It's not that he doesn't realized he has been traumatized in some way, but more that he refuses to let his life be impacted by it. I was waiting behind the door of the Blue Hedonism and hugged him as soon as he arrived. He did the walk at a brisk pace, but no panic attack this time.

It seems that what Romero did left more scars than the physical ones. I tried to tie my Baby up with his arms up last Monday, for a light teasing scene, but he began to hyperventilate as soon as I had pulled the chain to stretch his body up to its maximum. Again, he didn't want to acknowledge the fact he had been psychologically hurt and refused to safeword. But his body language was clear and I interrupted the scene before it led to a disaster.

I will have to get him accustomed to that again progressively. Yesterday evening for instance, I tied him up in a sitting position, and it didn't seem to trigger any bad memories. It was just a small scene to relax him before his testimony today, teasing him for a bit before I blew him out of his mind.

Those thoughts are a bit inappropriate for the current situation, so I focus again on my Baby's speech. Each time he looks at me, I mouth him words of encouragement. I'm just so proud of him for explaining all the bastard made him endure without breaking down. True, he tenses at some of the most horrific details, and his eyes have been watering since he began, but his voice doesn't falter. The jury seems genuinely touched by his testimony, which is for the best since this is the central piece of the case against Thomas.

The trial began this morning with the opening statements and the first testimonies: Dr. Goldstein explained the state my Baby was in when he examined him both times and showed a lot of pictures that made everyone wince, Tanner spoke of the assault outside of my club, with the video surveillance as evidence, and now it's my Baby's turn.

After this, defense will call their witnesses, mostly the jerks who took part in the gang-rape, and will try to make the jury believe it was all consensual. I know his lawyer has tried to approach a few members of the Blue Hedonism – Jason in particular – to try to make them talk about BDSM, but thankfully I'm fully protected by the NDAs everyone has signed. My own lawyers made it pretty clear that we would sue the defense for slander if they began to make up rumors about my nightclub without solid evidence.