The birth of the Blue Phoenix - Book 2 (MxM 18+)

Chapter 15: Internal conflict

Zach, Sat Jan 5th 2013

I'm lying down in my bed, completely exhausted.

Like every morning, I woke up at 6am, except I didn't fall asleep until quite late last night. I don't even remember what time it was when Aiden came to comfort me while I was having some kind of mental breakdown. He hugged me from behind for the longest time, softly whispering reassuring words in my ear, then helped me go to bed and stayed in my room until I fell asleep. He didn't press me to talk about anything and I am very grateful, because I don't think I can just yet.

I don't understand why this man is nice to me! I will have to find him some kind of gift to repay him from his hospitality when I leave. Except I don't really know where I will go. I admit that my little state of denial yesterday night was a bit ridiculous, and that Aiden's friend probably did find my stuff in the trash. Which leads me to think that I might not be welcomed when I want to go back next week.

But I can't get myself to regret the decision to call for help. What happened on New Year's Eve was not normal and I had to do something. I just hope it was just another fit of anger from Thomas, and that he didn't actually mean what he did.

I haven't tried to stand up yet, but the pain in my ass seems to have receded to a bearable level. Who knows? I might even be able to walk properly today! I try to relax and empty my mind to go back to sleep, with no success, so I end up leaving the bed around 8am.

Since I'm bored again, I begin to draw once more. Not wanting to reproduce yesterday's experience, I decide to focus on doing a picture of my benefactor. I won't be able to afford a real gift for him, so this is going to be what I will give him when I leave this place. He said he liked my drawings, so that should please him. And if he was only saying this to make me feel better... well it's the intention that counts!

I try to depict him with his mischievous eyes, his thick hair in a bit of a mess and his smirk that gives him a bit of bad boy aura. I have worked though most of the details when the man I am drawing gets out of his bedroom, stretching his arms above his head, which reveals his lower belly with a very sexy happy trail that plunges into his sweatpants. He is very hot and I would definitely be interested if I wasn't taken. I don't think he likes Thomas enough to do a threesome with us... too bad!

"What are you drawing this time?" he asks after a yawn.

"Something you don't get to see," I reply in a light tone.

He will only get to see it when I offer it to him.

"Why? Is it naughty?" he smirks.

Now that's an idea for the next time I want to draw something!

"You'll never know," I respond, sticking my tongue out.

When I realize the childish gesture I just made, I brace myself for some mean comment on it. Thomas always hated it when I did that.

"Whatever Baby decides," he winks at me. "I'll prepare breakfast today, keep working on your secret porn project."

I'm a bit confused by the absence of reproach. Perhaps it's okay to be a bit silly around him?

"Thanks, Daddy!"

It's so nice not to be the one cooking for once, and Aiden certainly knows how to use a kitchen. I take a few peeks at him to check that my drawing is accurate – and certainly not to ogle his ass. He cooks us scrambled eggs with fried bacon that are really delicious then goes to take a shower after I helped him clear the table.

"My mother will be here for dinner," he tells me when he gets out of his shower, bare-chested and drying his hair with a towel.

I feel a bit bad getting instantly hard at this sight, but I can't control who my lizard likes, right? Even if I still find Thomas hotter, I can still look at this perfect muscular chest with exactly the right amount of hair at all the right places.