The birth of the Blue Phoenix - Book 2 (MxM 18+)

Chapter 34: Dark premonitions

Aiden, Wed March 6th 2013

By now, I wonder if I will ever get used to the pain I feel each time I see my Baby with another Dom. I wasn't stupid enough to believe I would get over my feelings for him, those have only increased during the time I spent taking care of him. But I thought I would get used to the pangs of jealousy and that somehow, they would become more and more dull compared to the first time. Sadly, it's not the case, and it's actually becoming harder to contain my anger and frustration.

Home is still the only place I'm happy those days. I get to have my Baby for myself. He loves to cuddle and I have come to cherish those moments dearly. Helping him get back on his feet by checking he does all his homework for his online courses and the occasional discipline that goes with it is a lot of work, but seeing my Baby's progress and achievements is an extremely satisfying reward.

He doesn't like that I drag him to the gym but it's good for his stamina and he could use some more muscles. Years of living with the fucker that used to be his boyfriend made him too skinny for my – or most of the Doms at the club – taste. I'm glad that after just a month he has both gained weight and has filled out nicely a bit everywhere.

The club has become my personal hell. Even on the nights that he isn't there, I still get to see all the Doms he has been with while I can't let myself get involved with him, and it's driving me crazy. On the nights he is here, I either stalk what he is doing through the cameras or I unleash my frustration on a Sub – one that is capable of handling me and looking for a rough scene, of course.

Like the night he had a threesome with Nathan and Alexander. I made my best effort to avoid thinking about it and had scheduled a scene with Porter to be sure I wouldn't spend the evening brooding in my office watching them. But Alexander had to make my Baby pleasure him and his Sub during the first show! I couldn't get that picture out of my mind, and even long after, when I was fucking Porter senseless, I slipped and called him Baby. Luckily he didn't seem to have picked up on it – the boy wasn't in any state to be thinking properly by that time – or it would have caused other embarrassing questions.

The hardest part is to keep on smiling whenever my Baby gives me detailed summaries of what happened. He seems extremely happy and joyful each time he does, so I try to focus on that instead of the urge I get to kill the Dom – or the Doms – he was with.

Tonight, it seems my patience is going to be tried in yet another way. My Baby seems to have forgotten his initial restraint and he is blatantly hitting on William, who would be so very happy to spend the night with him. For some reason, it's even harder to picture Zach with any of my friends, and I don't want to relive the first scene he had at the club with my friend a month and a half ago.

Suddenly though, my Baby's face contorts with pain and he rushes out of the room. I follow him to the closest restroom, where he loudly vomits. What happened to him? He was perfectly fine a minute ago! I quietly soothe my Baby before he tells me that he doesn't feel so well and calls it a night. I can't say I'm happy he's sick, but if it allows me to avoid seeing him with one of my friends I can't help feeling relief.

When he walks out of the main entrance of the club though, a deep sensation of uneasiness crashes over me. Something isn't right, but I can't quite pinpoint exactly what. A deep shiver runs along my spine, leaving goosebumps on my arms, a dark premonition that true hell is yet to come. Exactly like that time I woke up alone in a tent thirteen years ago.

It's completely irrational but I have to do something. I decide against following my Baby home, that would be weird if I'm wrong. Instead, I drop by the security room and instruct the team there to watch over Zach with the cameras in my loft before I go back to my office.