Chapter 8- The Saddest Fear

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Ed's POV 

It's 2 am and Taylor just got out of surgery. The doctor said they got her all fixed, but she'll have to be on bed rest until her ribs heal and to make sure she doesn't start bleeding again. They bring her in and she's still a bit loopy. She falls asleep within minutes so I sleep in the chair I'm in. The doctor comes in at 9;00 the next day. He hands me the release papers and I help taylor get dressed. We walk to the doors and we see a sea of paps. We're about to walk out, but Taylor starts backing away.

"What's a matter, love?"

"I can't go out there. They're gonna question me, and judge me, and I'm scared I can't face people right now."

At this point she's having a full on anxiety attack.

"Hey, I'll go pull the car around back and I'll tell them we need to go out the back ok?"

She nodded. I went to the front desk and they told me I could go out the back. I went out through the sea of paps and took the car round back. I got taylor and took her to the back. By the time we got there though there were 20 paps. In the end we had to send police out to get rid of them long enough for me to get Taylor into the car. I finally get here in and I start backing out and heading to her house. I look over and Taylor is sobbing and rocking herself.

"Are you ok love?"

"I can't do this everytime I close my eyes I see him! And because of him I'm afraid to go outside and face people. That's the saddest fear ever. I feel like I'm going crazy!"

"I..."

"It's ok. I know you don't know what to say."

She was right. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't help, but feel at fault in that moment. If only I hadn't of gone to the UK and left her. Apparently I was thinking out loud and crying because Taylor had her arm around me.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is! I could've been there to protect you! I should've come home and saved you, but me being the selfish person I am I stayed in England while Jake abused you and raped you. You wouldn't have had surgery last night if it wasn't for me! You wouldn't be covered in bruises and stiches!"

We reached home and Taylor was calm, but I was a wreck. I got her inside.

"I'm sorry I need to take a walk. Call me if you need me. Lock the doors tight and I'll be back in 20 minutes. Wait no what the fuck am I saying?! Just stay down here and let me go upstairs for a moment and get myself together. No you can't be down here alone god what is wrong with me?! Just go upstairs and I'll stay here and I'll be up soon. Ya that's right."

I couldn't wait for the response I was already going to the downstairs bathroom. I had to take something. I was getting a massive headache and I just needed something to knock me out. I found some sleeping pills and I decided to take 4. I knew it wasn't smart, but I need to sleep. I took some for Taylor and a cup of tea for both of us. I could feel my nerves soothing and I slopily walk up to the bedroom. Taylor was sitting in bed watching law and order.

"Ed are you drunk?"

"No why?"

"You're stumbling every where."

"No I'm not. I just brought tea for us and some sleeping pills for you so we can just go to bed." I slurred.

"Did you take some?"

"Yea."

"How many?"

"Um I think 4."

"ED! Why would you do that?!"

"I'm sorry I just needed to calm down."

"It's ok just come here. Drink a bunch of water an sleep it off."

I sat down and drank water in tea, only because Tay made me stay awake until I was done. Then she took the 2 pills I brought for her and we crashed wrapped up in the comfort of eachothers arms.

A/N: Updates will be slower because I'm transferring schools for the second time this school year...UGHHHHH so I'll be behind and I'll have a lot to do. And I've run out of prewritten stuff so I'll probably only be able to update once a week. It should be updated every saturday or sunday!

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