The Story of Us-(Sweeran)

Therapy

It's August 20th exactly 2 weeks from that night. Ed and I have been talking a lot trying to mend things and it's going pretty well. I made the decision to let him move back in to our home. He moved in yesterday. I've made the decision to make Ed go to therapy. He's not right emotionally anymore. He's like I was in the beginning stages of our relationship and I've decided not to let him fall in that hole. He has warily agreed to at least trying it out. I told the therapist everything so she already knows. She thinks it's best to let it just be him going at first and then maybe involve me. As the driver drives us to the office Ed sits there silent fiddling with his hands and I sit on my phone reading letters fans have tagged me in on instagram. I place my hand on Ed's leg letting him know I'm there if he wants to speak.

Soon we're there and Ed and I emerge from the car together. I check him in and soon he's taken back to her office leaving me to wait. I thought about getting a therapist myself, but I can't. Ed is the perfect amount of famous, where he gets approached by fans, but not paps. But I'm not that lucky. If I a pap saw me going to therapy it'd be over. The hate and the paps and everything would become worse, not to mention I bet any therapist I saw would sell me out in a heart beat. I;m conflicted these days on fame. I love what I do and my fans, but if it weren't for Ed I'd be done with love. I've build the largest defense line across my heart that only Ed has the key to. I'm tired of it being a public past time to watch my relationships start and come crashing down.

I'm beginning to understand the real reason my past relationships have ended. I don't know how a guy is supposed to walk next to his girlfriend when there are 20 men with cameras, and he can't protect his girlfriend because that's the life she chose. (this is a quote from Taylor in UK Vogue if you were wondering.) It's insane, but I can't complain, because I chose this life when I signed that contract at 16.