35: take him back?

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As I was exiting my dressing room to go retrieve my belongings from my bus, I was stopped by one of my security guards. All he did was hand me a cd and a sympathetic look. Puzzled I walked away inspecting the cd as I went. The artist? Ed Sheeran.

Confused I stuffed it away in my bag and went to my bus to gather everything. Once I was in the safety of my car taking my to my jet I settled back. I took this time to prepare mentally for what I would hear. Once I was on the jet I decided to just listen. I put it in my computer and pressed play. His angelic voice flowed into my ears. Some songs I has heard and others were new. As I listened to songs if already heard that reminded me of early friendship or moments of us together I looked through the cd. Tucked away in the lyrics to I'm a mess, Bloodstream, and photograph were notes to me.

The note from I'm a mess "when I realized what I'd done to you and that you'd never look at me the same"

The note from bloodstream: "I wish this didn't happen so I wouldn't have this song."

The note from photograph: "I wish that I was home"

And at the end of the booklet one last longer note. "I know this doesn't mean much, but it's my last resort. I miss you, I can't live without you really, but I'm not going to say that all here. I want you to meet me at that little cafe in Tribeca in 3 days. If you don't show there by 8pm then I'll leave and never bother you again. If this doesn't work then I guess contact me or Stuart said he'd relay your messages."

I just cried as each song played through my mind. Maybe he did miss me and care about me. I'm a mess was my favorite. So heartfelt, but I also loved photograph. I sat the entire long flight just listening to the sweet melody flowing through my headphones. I miss him. I need him. But the question is: can I take him back? Will I ever be able to look at him and love him the same? All these questions ran through my mind. But I guess I'll never know if I don't go meet him will I?

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