The Story of Us-(Sweeran)

33: Before Her

Ed's POV

Well I don't really write here much only when something life altering happens. It's that time again and this one was crushing. I made a mistake. A huge one. I hurt the one thing that meant everything to me. I cheated on Taylor and I told her and now she hates me. Probably with her whole heart and soul. I messed up this time. If I hadn't done what I did late last night I'd be in her arms right now. I'm just such a mess right now. I need her. She was my life, my light. I just can't work it out. These emotion, us. Taylor just made life amazing. She made life happy and beautiful and worth the living. I miss her so much. She was the thing that made me happy. She made me believe that I could do anything I wanted to. I don't even know how I wound up doing what I did. In fact I would of never done that if I was just drunk...

*Ed goes and does some research*

I just did some research online. I think I got drugged... It would explain everything, why it's a blur. why I did it. I'd like to think that if I told Taylor this right now she'd take me back in a blink, but the cold truth is that it doesn't change what I did. It doesn't change the fact that even if I can fix this Taylor will never look at me the same. Taylor will never love me the same. Nothing can ever be the same again.

I don't know how to live now. She's all I've ever known these last few years. She's all I wanna know. I wanted... want.... no need to be with her the rest of my life. I want to have kids with her and hold her hand until the day until fate brings us apart. Fate brought us apart too soon and now I may never hold her in my arms again. And it's all my fault.                

I don't like to think about life before Taylor, but without her it'll probably go back to that sadly. life before her wasn't great. Sure my career was taking off and life was okay, but I wasn't truly happy. I was partying, doing things I shouldn't have. And then when I found Taylor all that stopped, I was always happy. I had a sense of meaning, a sense of who I wanted to be. But it's not worth harping on what could've been when it's all done for now. This stupid twist of fate has sent us in a huge spiral down. I guess this story that was us is not a tragedy.

What the hell am I saying? If I keep this attitude sure it'll be like this forever, but I can get her back. It'll take a lot, but there might still be a chance. Maybe the story ended with a semi colon. It's not over yet. It's just beginning.

Dun dun dun! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!