The Story of Us-(Sweeran)

Chapter 11- Still alive, but I'm barely breathing...

Taylor's POV

I hug my parents and brother tightly. Excited to see my family after the long time apart. They pull away and my mom gently takes my wrist. She looks at the now uncovered cuts. Her and Dad look up at me. Hurt and sorrow evident in the glaze of tears that lie over their eyes. I expected them to say something whether it was words of anger, sorrow, or numbness, but they said nothing, My smile fell and I felt the tears start coming that I had been feeling everyday for weeks now. My dad wiped away the salty tears that were slowly descending down my face and brought me back into a warm embrace. He nuzzled into my neck and whispered something in my ear.

"It's ok Taylor. It's ok. We understand, it just hurts."

This made the tears come more plentiful and rapidly. I can't bear this. When I hurt myself it helps me, but it kills my family. But when I don't it helps my family, but kills me. I don't know what a happy medium is anymore. In fact at this point I'm not sure I know what happy means anymore. I'm not sure I know what sane is anymore. In fact all I know right now is that I'm a walking ball of pain, darkness, and hurt. And musn't forget the nickname Jake and 80% of the world has given me: slut.

I come out of my thoughts to see everyone standing in a circle around me just sort of staring at me. Even Mere is looking at me like I'm a glass that might shatter in any second. I hate this! I wouldn't be surprised if Ed's parents make him leave me. I wouldn't be surprised if Ed left me because he wanted to. Who would want to be with someone like this anyway? I have to break this god awful silence.

"I'm going to go get dinner out of the oven. Can you set the table Ed?"

"Yeah sure love."

He follow shortly behind me. I grab my oven mitts and pull the roast we made out of the oven. I place it on the counter to cool and so Ed can carve it. The gravy is in the boat already so I pick it up and take it to the table.

"You carve the roast I'll finish setting the table."

We swap places and I fold the napkins placing them next to each plate. I then carefully put down silverware. I walk to the cabinets and grab wine glasses i set a few down the then grab the rest. I'm walking back to the table when I drop a glass. I don't know exactly why, but this makes me break down crying on the floor in the pool of glass shards. Ed drops what he's doing and comes to me.

"Love it's ok shhhh."

"I'm sorry." I continue to sob.

My mom walks in to see what the commotion is. 

"Ed what happened is she ok?"

"she dropped a wine glass and she started crying."

She rushed to my side and scooped me up, ushering me up the stairs. I guess it's one of those dark days like I've had many of lately. The days where dropping something leads you to a breakdown although maybe I do know why I started crying. Maybe in the deep, dark recesses of my mind I started sobbing because that pour little glass was now just as broken as me. and it couldn't be glued back together. Nothing can fix it and at this point I feel like I can't be fixed.

"Taylor talk to me. What are you feeling?"

"I honestly don't know how to put it in to words. I just feel like I'm going insane. I'm covered in this dark cloud and I feel like I'm alive but not really. I just feel depressed and scared, and every other dark emotion."

"I wish I could take away your pain honey. But I promise you it'll all get better in time."

"Thanks mom. Thanks for loving me even when I'm completely insane. I love you."

"I love you too tay, I love you too."

At this time we were sitting on my bed all cuddled together. We heard Ed call for dinner 10 minutes later. My mom helped me get myself together and re apply some makeup and then we heading downstairs. Time to face his family. Here goes nothing. Even though this is everything.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! I only got one comment last chapter so make sure you leave feedback. I will not be updating untill I get five comments! I also have finals and all that stuff so updates will be few far between. I hope you understand! and remember 5 comments= an update!!!!