Torpidity.(A Sope fanfic) #Wattys2018

Chapt 13

Closer (chainsmokers) and I need u remix above. One of the best remixes  out there.Who would've known they would actually collab with chainsmokers later in real life? 

TRIGGER WARNING!

(YOONGI)

Yoongi slowly was getting frustrated.

Sleep was weighing upon his eyelids quite heavily and yet he couldn't sleep. It was his thoughts that kept him awake. Counting of sheep never helped, nor did imagining a blank space in his mind.

When he was a child and had trouble sleeping, he always used to imagine the starry night sky to help him sleep.It used to work back then but right now, after that accident nothing worked anymore. The starry skies he imagined led him to think of the cold winter night on the night of the accident, then the abandoned water fountain and his mind would become a jumbled mess of exhaustion, unsaid words and images that he couldn't connect, despite being awake.

Yoongi tossed and turned around for the infinite time that night. He couldn't even remember his train of thought these days. Everything he thought of disappeared as soon as he tried to take a pen and take it down.

The moon was shining in through the hospital windows and the cold air seeped in taunting him with memories of the few seconds of sleep he had gotten that week in that park.

He felt tears welling in his eyes as his frustration build up. He screamed hoarsely into the pillow, desperately trying to grasp on to reality or sleep, he didn't know.

He leaned over and grabbed the lighter on the table nearby and flicked it on and off. Flicking it on and off helped in some way. It calmed him, to feel the burning heat on his fingertips and the agony he felt as he brought his fingertips teasingly near the flame, anchored him to the world.

The pain was so addicting.

No. The clarity in his mind that the pain brought on was addicting. He wasn't necessarily hurting himself. It was just his fingertips. That was not self abuse right? He wasn't that pathetic.

He hoarsely laughed to himself as he watched as his thumb seemed to be devoured by the flame, as he tilted the lighter. His skin blistered as he hissed in pain, and he closed his eyes relishing every jolt of pain given to his already damaged skin.

He suddenly heard somebody walk in and he scrambled to hide the lighter. But his vision was fuzzy due to tears in his eyes and he could only grasp his lighter tightly in his hand to hide.He couldn't make out the person who came in either.

He hoped with all his heart, that it wasn't one of those annoying nurses.

"Oppa!" A familiar voice yelled and yoongi sighed in relief.

He tried to speak her name, trying to say that it was okay but there was weight crushing his chest suddenly and he couldn't breathe. He felt immensely hot despite the cold night air and his fingers were trembling.

The girl moved quietly next to him. She understood what was happening and made no move to touch Yoongi. At last when the trembling stopped she hesitantly touched his hand.

"Are you okay?" she asked her voice cracking.

"I am." Yoongi replied after a pause.

She slowly walked leaned in pulled him towards her gently in an embrace. He didn't know why he allowed her to touch him like that when he usually shut her down after an episode but this time, he wrapped his hands around her smaller body and leaned into her shoulders and cried.    

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shitty place to leave, I know but bare with me because its a double update!