Counterpoint

Chapter 34

Jefferson

   The atmosphere is tense as I walk back into the living room. Philip is currently watching t.v andI can only hear muffled segments of Alexander's voice carrying through the air. I don't see him anywhere and simply follow the sound of his voice, not daring to try and interact with Philip again after catching a glimpse of his red and puffy eyes. It is very obvious that the two Hamiltons had been arguing, but I am not entirely sure what was said or what the eldest Hamilton has inflicted in damage. It appears that it is my job to manage damage control for his actions.

   "Trust me I didn't know he was coming here either." Alexander's voice gets louder as I draw closer to the laundry room. I lean against the wall just outside and listen to Alexander's half of the conversation. He has fallen silent as he listens to Eliza's response. Recalling how Philip has described his mother as being very protective of her children, I can easily imagine her not being too pleased with the situation of being called by Alexander and being told where her first born son is currently sitting.

   "I understand that my calling you is probably the last th-" his voice suddenly cuts off and I peek around the corner to catch his reflection in the washing machine. His eyes are wide and his lips are slightly parted as he stares blankly forward, all of his attention being funneled on the words that are pouring through his cellphone. "I wasn't expecting that sort of response after all this time." My eyebrows furrow as I lean my head back against the wall, my eyes closing in thought.

   So here is what I know: Hamilton isn't divorced, regardless of what he makes the situation sound like. He also has four children who are under the care of his wife, with whom he is separated, the eldest child is currently sitting on my couch, wanting to stay here with his father.

   Philip has every right to be here with his father. When I was at that age I wanted nothing more than to be practically glued to my father's side. That was one of the reasons in which I agreed to let him stay here, but now knowing that Alexander and Eliza are actually still married makes this entire situation between Alexander and I a lot more difficult. Also the assumption that Eliza is happy to hear from him doesn't make this knot in my chest feel any better.

   "Philip had a request," Alexander finally says. "He wanted to stay here with me and Thomas while I look for another place to live." That last part stabs me in the heart. I wasn't aware that he was even looking for a new place to live. I guess there are a lot of things that I didn't know about until today. "I know that it is a lot to ask of you, but it is important to Philip that he sees me."

   What about me? Alexander doesn't make it sound as if he is going to be moving back in with his wife anytime soon. That particular thought both fills me with hope and shame. Who am I to keep him away from his wife and children?

   "I completely understand." 

   My heart feels as if its bleeding uncontrollably inside of me. I wonder if I could possibly die from such a feeling. The bitter sting of jealousy chasing after my heartache with such speed that it almost topples me. 

   "I want to apologize for my actions in the past. I know that I will never be able to know just how much it hurt you and our children, but I want you to know that I am truly sorry for everything that I have done and everything that came after. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry Eliza." I peek around the corner yet again as another long pause fills the air. My eyes widen slightly as I take in Alex's pale face and frightened expression. 

   "Who told you all of that?" My expression crinkles in curiosity as I continue to eavesdrop. "You're right, I'm sorry, I shouldn't assume that you would only be able to figure all that out by someone telling you. But, how did you figure all of this out?" My fingers curl into fists, my nails biting into the palms of my hands harshly as I struggle to keep myself calm and quiet. 

   "I see...Well...now you know the truth." I take a slow inhale of breath before quietly releasing it. "So what are you feeling now that you know everything?" I can't take it anymore, I round the corner into the laundry room and Alexander's eyes widen as he takes in my sudden appearance. 

   "I-I agree that we should meet up and talk about everything, but I'll have to set up a time with you later." My shoulders are rising and falling quickly as I struggle to keep my emotions in check. "Yeah, we'll talk later, bye." The phone is slid back into his pocket and we simply take a moment to stare at one another. "Were you eavesdropping this entire time?"

   "It's my house, I can listen to whatever conversation I want to." I reply emotionlessly. "What the hell is going on Alexander?"

   "I don't know what y-"

   "Don't lie to me!" I suddenly explode. "Don't hide even more information from me! I won't be able to take that if you do." 

   "Jefferson, you need to lower your voice." 

   "Don't you dare tell me to lower my voice in my own house!"

   "Thomas," He whispers. "You need to stop shouting. This is a conversation that you and I need to have, my son doesn't need to hear it." 

   "Just like how I didn't need to hear about you still being married?" I whisper back in a hiss.

   "Can we please talk about this later?" he asks with a faltering expression.

   "Is this how you handle everything in your personal life, push it off till later?" His eyes flash with hurt and I take a step back as he takes a step forward. "Take care of your son Hamilton, I need to go." I rush away from the laundry room and head to the garage as quickly as I can.

   "Where are you going?" He calls after me, I can hear his footsteps shadowing mine.

   "I need to get away from here for a while." 

   "But where are you going, when are you going to be back?"

   "Don't worry about that, take care of your family Hamilton." I don't hear his footsteps anymore as I rush through the door to the garage and slam it behind me. I practically throw myself into the driver seat of my car and pull away from the house as quickly as I can as I begin to weep. My tears flowing even quicker when I can see Hamilton standing in the garage looking out at me from my rearview mirror. I force myself to look away and continue to drive, not to anywhere in particular, just wanting to put distance between me and the man who has hurt my heart so easily.