Counterpoint

Chapter 80

Thomas

   My palms are slick with sweat as I sit on the sofa nearest my front door. It has been just shy of an hour since I had called Sally Hemmings, Martha's half sister and my daughter's present guardian. She had seemed almost overjoyed to have heard from me and was more than willing to hand over my daughter without any form of legal resistance or conflict. Her response had been so welcoming and comforting that it made me feel just a little bit better knowing that she had been the one taking care of my daughter. Hopefully, her kindness and forgiveness has been imparted upon our little Martha. Perhaps little Martha's presence will cut through the awkwardness, but I doubt my meeting my secret daughter for the first time will abate any such feelings. I feel as if I could be sick from the intensity of my nerves, but Alexander looks as calm as he could possibly be as he sits beside me. He is scrolling through several social media pages with a distant look of disinterest, his fingers are loosely interlaced with mine as our joined hands rest on the cushion between us. 

   "When do you think she'll get here?" I question quietly, the words slipping past my lips like a whisper. He glances over at me, his lips parting slightly as he contemplates his response. His expression flickers between a few different emotions; calm and composed appears to be the expression he settles on.

   "I don't know Thomas, i'm sure that she will get here soon enough." 

    "You don't seem too excited." 

   "I'm just remaining calm. You look like you are about to fall apart at the seams, don't mistake my composure as indifference."

   "Composure doesn't impart upon your tone." I study him quizzically. "Do you not want this to happen?"

   "Please don't reflect your insecurity onto me." he snaps, retracting his hand from mine. "I never said anything about not wanting you to have your daughter." 

   "Then what is all of this? Is this about what happened in the bathroom this morning?"

   "We are not continuing that conversation because it's finished." He glances over at me coolly, his frustration seeming to pour off of him in waves. "I am very happy for you Thomas, you are getting to have the family that you always wanted. I just have a lot going through my mind right now." 

   "Such as?" I bump his shoulder gently, playfully, but he doesn't return the sentiment. His expression has become serious and closed off, his eyes have chilled over as he fights back the rage I know is present underneath his surface. I struggle to smile back at him as I bite back the dread that is beginning to dance within my chest. 

   "When are you going to make peace with your family?"

   "That is not something worth discussing right now." My smile falters as I think about my siblings. I had been furious with the truth that had been exposed in such a short span of time, but their noted absence this morning had made my heart ache. 

   "Isn't it?" He challenges. "Your sister's wedding is in three days. What's your plan, just skip the wedding and run back to New York? I think that decision would haunt you for quite some time." 

   "Could you keep your nose out of my family matters?"

   "It's rather difficult to when your family issues are everywhere we go." 

   "Alex, this isn't what I want to talk about!" The desperation I am feeling spills out in a tidal wave on my words. He takes a sharp intake of breath before looking away from me. It is obvious from the look on his face that he is far from finished with this conversation, but he is willing to bury the hatchet for the moment. A bitter taste coats my tongue as I realize that this is how we will have to wait for Martha to arrive. I glance at him from the corner of my eye and see that his expression is dark and distant.