Dad.
I'm shocked and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. He hasn't noticed us and seems like he's waiting for something or maybe... someone.
He didn't change, still the same as if nothing has changed as if it isn't a big deal to let their family while its members need help.
As if he wasn't our dad.
I'm still here, shaking, tensed, and crying but the most disgusting thing is to see him living his life like a random dad... or, at least, like a random man.
My eyes are watering and my gaze is blurred but the only thing that matters to me right now is Liam. He ran away after he told me that I was the biggest liar and the worse is that he's right. I shouldn't have lied
"You're the biggest one"
These few words that keep all my attention, these few words that punch a hole right through my heart.
But,... if it keeps on going like that, if everyone hurts me and Liam, we wouldn't have any heart anymore.
I realize that I forgot Liam, too lost in my thoughts and I run in the soccer club to join my brother and not to get noticed by the man who used to be my dad.
Should I?
ShouldI walk to him and talk with him? What am I supposed to do? Any other normal person would have been happy to see their father. Am I wrong?
If I am as lost as right now because of my dad, then how can Liam feel?
The worst thing that broke my heart isn't the fact that he knew about dad. The worse was to see his disappointed gaze on me.
I keep on running through the corridors to find him and he's finally sitting outside, in the bleachers. The empty bleachers.
I stop running and slow down when I see him, his head in his hands, probably crying.
"Liam..." I try, with the weakest voice ever. "Superman, please, talk to me..."
"I'm not your Superman anymore! Leave me alone" He shouts while raising up his head to me.
This breaks my heart. I've never been that hurt, I've never seen him that hurt. I hate myself and hate what I did. I'm always trying to be a model to him, trying to be admired because every single child needs someone to admire. Whether the dad or the mom, but he only has me now.
I totally failed. I suck and I can't even achieve to make something great for my lovely brother. He's everything to me.
I said that I tried to become a model but I'm totally wrong. I can't be. How could I be a model if I don't even have one? How could I if I am lost.
"Liam... I didn't mean to hurt you... " I say between two cries and cupping his cheeks.
"Does he love me?" He asks after a while but still angry with his bloodshot eyes.
"Of course he loves you! You're his son, how couldn't he love you?"
"Then why was he with another child? Does he prefer him over me? I am a bad kid, right?" He says crying, over, over and over again. And I just do the same.
I am so confused right now.
"What? No! You probably saw a child next to him but not with him..." I try to convince him as I try to convince myself because I don't know if it's true or not. "Listen! Liam, you're the sweetest, the kindest and the perfect brother and son that anyone could ask for. Why are you saying that?"
"He was with another kid," He says still crying and my blood just stops running through my veins.
He can't stop crying and I definitely don't know how to calm him down... I don't even know how to calm myself down. What am I supposed to do? How should I act?
"I need a dad, Alyssa," He says and I just run my hand through his hair while his head is leaning on my chest.
We stay like that for a while, without moving or saying anything. We're just here and I'm trying to find a solution to cheer him up because I won't sleep if he's still sad about what he saw.
We get back home and no one has said anything since the soccer club shock.
"Do you want to invite your friends?" I ask when I join him in his room.
"No".
"Do you want us to go to the cinema and eat a Mcdonald's?"
"No".
"A bowling?"
"No".
"Do you want Josh?" I try this option because I know that he likes Josh and that he loves spending time with him when I can't take care of him or when I'm too busy so I hope that he'll say yes otherwise I'll be done with the suggestions. What could a 6 years old guy make happy?
I see him turning to me with a weak smirk on his face.
"Yes" He nods and I take my phone from my pocket to call Joshua.
I hope he'll answer, he's my last hope.
What will I do when he won't be there?
A while after, Joshua comes in and I leave them alone to go to work because I have to earn more money so I just work the days off too.
I thank Josh and assure him that I'll be back as soon as I can, hoping that they both will spend a good time... I mean, they always do this.
"Alyssa!" I hear Josh's voice behind me when I am about to get out so I just turn back to face him.
"Anything you want?" I ask, searching my car keys in my bag.
"No, don't worry but... I want to talk to you, later... when you come back because I'm scared for you sweetie..." I look at him confused and he puts his hands on my shoulders "I've never seen you as tired and as sick as right now... you need to slow down or your health won't follow you."
"Don't worry I'm fine" I say and I run outside before he has the time to reply.
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Hey everybody! I'm sorry for not updating in a while but I have so much to do and I hope that this chapter is great and that you like it.
Love you all.
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Drowning / SM
Fanfiction{COMPLETE} Alyssa went to the Starbucks near her home as every day to do her job as a waitress and that's where she meets a couple. The Shawn Mendes and his hateful girlfriend. She already hated them before knowing them and they did the same. Shawn...
