Drowning / SM

Chapter 51

"Do you know the address?" I ask and try to act normal because I don't understand why would they change the location of the party. 

"Yes, Matt sent me the address." He says while getting in the highway. 

I know that the journey will take a while so I take this moment to talk with Josh because I didn't talk to him since my mom's surgery. I mean, not seriously. I don't know what to talk about but we used to tell everything to each other and I won't lie to myself but since I met Shawn, since I started working at the agency and since all my mom's problem got worse, I couldn't hang out a lot with him. And it's really crazy because I met him only when I started working at the Starbucks when my dad left us but those past few months were enough to let him take a huge place in my life. 

"Josh?" I ask, unsure of myself and wait for an answer but he just looks at me and nods. "How are you?" I ask, really caring about the answer. 

People are always asking other how they are and if they're okay but the fact is that most of the time, they don't even care about the answer. They just ask because that's what people usually do. Because it'd seem weird if they don't but the weirder is that people say things without even thinking about them, they say things because they're used to and not because they're worried about how the person in front of them is doing. 

But I really meant it when I asked Josh. 

"You wanna know how I'm doing??" He says with a chuckle but then gets serious when he understands that I wasn't joking. "Things are going good, I saw my grandparents and I realized that I really missed them... Then I finally found a real job as a model and I have the best friend ever." He says and looks at me with a smile on his face which makes mine in turn. "I also started dating someone..." He adds when he focuses back on the road but still smirking. 

"No way!!!" I jump because of happiness, I swear that this boy will always surprise me. "Why didn't you tell me earlier???" I add and calm myself down. 

"I wasn't sure but now I am and she's really nice..." He says and laughs. 

"What's her name?" I ask but this made his smile fade away. 

"Jenny..." He says almost in a whisper and my eyes just get out of their orbit so much I'm shocked. "I'm kidding"

I sigh of relief because I was having a bad heart attack... I think I would have gone crazy if it was true but fortunately, it isn't. 

"I swear to god, Josh..." I start with my hand on my heart. "I'm happy for you it isn't Jenny though!" I say and he gets in a giggle that I don't understand because I was dying. "It isn't funny," I say acting mad. 

But it doesn't last for a long time because he gets serious again. 

"How is my little princess going?" He asks and I can't help but smile. 

I would say that I'm totally fine because, again, that's what people say but I can't lie to Josh. And even though I'm fine, I'm still misunderstanding some things. Everything is getting fixed slowly but I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the day I'd be fully happy, something happens and everything falls around me again. 

"I'm scared Josh... My mom is healing and I got the job at the agency but I feel like something's wrong with Liam..." I start talking about my brother and he instantly turns to me, frowning. "Sometimes he gets mad at little things or even when there's nothing to get mad about and most of the time it's after his soccer training... I don't know if there's something wrong or if it's only because of his puberty" I continue but Josh cuts me off. 

"He's only 6, Alyssa! I'm sorry but it can't be the puberty..." He says and finally parks his car in front of the building. 

"Maybe it's just because he's throwing the anger he has because of dad over other people but... I don't know... he's not the same... and there's also Cameron who insists on hanging out with me and there's also Shawn... And I'm totally lost, Josh." I say and the only thing he does is getting out of the car and I do the same.