"Hey... Stop... he's gone and he said that he won't come back... I'm here... you're not alone..." Shawn is still holding me with his arms surrounding me which keeps me from moving and even struggling.
I feel his body glued to mine from behind and my ears are impregnated with his mouth that whispers me all those words that calm me instantly down. Those words that mute all the noises around us. Those words that could do so much but I'm still shaking and tensed.
"Alyssa... close your eyes, just focus on my voice and stop thinking about this," He says so gently and I do what he asks me to.
He slowly begins to loosen his embrace until his arms leave my body. A cold wind travels my back and makes me shivering the second Shawn breaks our contact. My eyes are still closed and I don't want to open them because the second I'll open them I'll cry again. I don't have the strength and I don't want to.
I still feel Shawn standing behind me even though he's not holding me or anything. His voice is enough to relax me.
"Loosen your fists... You're closing them so tightly, you're hurting yourself..." It's only when he says this that I notice the pain that tearing my hands.
He moves in front of me and takes both of my hands to open them slowly.
"Open your eyes." He's still whispering, with my hands in his.
When I'm finally relaxed I open my eyes and get lost in his worried gaze.
"Thank you", I say and we stay like that for a moment without saying anything else but staring at each other.
"I think that we gotta go..." Shawn says and I look around to find out that the car park is emptier than it already was.
"Yes.." I say and start walking to my car.
"Where are you going?" I stop and turn back at Shawn when I hear his question. I look at him confused but he immediately clears my mind. "You're not going to drive while you're not feeling good... I'm taking you home." He says and I don't even try to struggle so I follow him to his car.
None of us talks during the journey because we know. We both know that I'm on edge and that even the littlest thing can make me drown back.
Feeling the heavy silence that fell in the vehicle, Shawn turns on the radio but the song that comes on makes the situation even worse.
{I gave all my oxygen to people that could breath
I gave away my money and now we don't even speak
I drove miles and miles but would you do the same for me?
Oh honestly?
Offered up my shoulder just for you to cry upon
Gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm
They gave me the heartache and in return, I gave a song
It goes on and on and on }
This song is probably about love and even though I have no problem with love, I can easily picture myself in this situation. I always feel like I give everything to the people I love but life is still punishing me and I don't get why because I'm always trying my best. I don't know why it steals me my dad, I don't know why it steals my mom's health, I don't know why it steals my brother's happiness.
I don't get why I'm still suffering while I can be happy.
That's what happens all the time. I'm happy for about a second but something comes on and ruins everything.
{Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf, no farewell
So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself
I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain
Cause human beings are destined to radiate or drain
What line do we stand upon cause from here it looks the same?
And only scars remain...}
After which seems to me like an eternity, he finally parks the car in front of the house.
"Stop crying" Shawn's voice gets me out of my thoughts and I turn to him.
"I'm not" I try to deny and get out and start looking for my keys in my pocket. I hear Shawn getting out of his car and joining me.
"Stop Alyssa. You can't hide from me anymore. You don't have to but you're still thinking that you're alone in this while you're not..." He says while cupping my cheeks and wiping the tears that are flowing down on them. "You're not and will never be alone. I promise" He says which makes me chuckle because it reminds me of something he already said the day we hung out after I visited my mom at the hospital.
"I already told you No promises, Shawn." I say and he puts off his hands from my cheeks when I start looking for my keys on my pockets. "Fuck." I curse and lean my head on the front door.
"Any problem?" He asks and I straight back my body to face him.
"I forgot my keys in my car but my mom is probably sleeping... I can't wake her because she needs to get some rest... My grandparents aren't even here." I say and I couldn't hate myself more than right now because I'm really exhausted.
"Let's just get them then..." He says but I cut him off.
"No, I can't... I'm too exhausted and the soccer club is too far..." I say and raise my hand to ring the doorbell but Shawn stops me.
"Stop and come with me." He says and starts walking back to his car.
"Where? I said I'm tired Shawn I'm not going to do this journey again."
"Yes, you are because I'm not letting you here alone and outside." He says randomly and in a normal way.
I'm about to argue but I stop myself and just follow him in his car.
-
After about 30 minutes, we're finally back together because he didn't want me to drive either so he drove me back home.
"Thank you lot for what you're doing for me Shawn..." I say and hug him.
"You deserve everything, Alyssa. And even though people are still hurting you, you have true friends who won't... and if you ever doubt about this, then just remember our deal."
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Hi everybody! I hope you liked this chapter full of emotions!
Love you all;
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Drowning / SM
Fanfiction{COMPLETE} Alyssa went to the Starbucks near her home as every day to do her job as a waitress and that's where she meets a couple. The Shawn Mendes and his hateful girlfriend. She already hated them before knowing them and they did the same. Shawn...
