The Billionaire's Ex-Wife

Lost

Lost my way!!

Alison's POV.

I've never, in my entire lifetime, seen a man so broken.

A man who looked as if he had lost everything.

A man who had given up.

Blake made no movement to appreciate my presence as I push the door open, eyes locked on the windows that displayed the dying sun, hues of orange and purple flickering amongst the fiery red sky.

Like both Jake and Elizabeth his physical state seems perfect, flushed skin, dark eyes lashes that framed his honey coloured eyes.

He looked as majestic and appealing as when I had first set my eyes on him.

But there is a feeling of absolute loss that smothers the air around him, suffocating the poor man in a world of misery as he gazes mournfully out the window.

I can't help but admire his attractive frame for a few minutes, lips parted in a silent 'o', my grip on the doorknob loosening.

"You came."

I almost jump, his speech catching me off guard as I blink rapidly. He doesn't turn to face me, eyes trained outside as if it were the most important factor in his life.

I take way steps closer to the bed where he is perched upon, fingers wringing behind me, eyes boring holes into his turned head.

"I..I did."

There is silence, the air around us stifled with discomfort as I shift nervously.

"Is it bad that I find that it surprising?"he says, lowly.

And he's facing me.

His head tilts to the side, eyes capturing mine as he licks his bottom lip, wetting the dryness of his skin.

Broken. Lost.

That is all I can say. All I can see.

His eyes do not shine the chestnut gold they once had, full of playful mischief but rather devoid of any emotions, a road of darkening black.

The guilt is back again, churning at my stomach.

"No."I say, head lifting to return his bold gaze, "I was being stupid. I overacted and called you words that no one deserves....I-I was being a hypocrite."

A dark eyebrow raises, lips curling at the side as he reads me carefully, peeling away any hidden emotion in my mind.

I want to squirm under his gaze but instead I stand tall, chin high and hands at my side, defensively.

"Why are you apologising?"he croaks out, eyes suddenly catching moisture, "You shouldn't be apologising. You can't be apologising! It's my fault! I should've died Alison! Should've payed for my wrongs!"

He's yelling, pearl-shaped tears falling from dark eyelashes as they hit his flushed cheeks, words broken as he swallows down choked sobs.

"Blake..."I whisper.

He can't hear me, and if he did he choses to ignore it, screams of insults stringing from his lips.

"Am I that useless that I can't even kill myself properly? What good am I for? Breaking hearts? Ruining others lives? I should die! I don't deserve to be here! I'm a bad person Alison! A bad person!"

"Blake!"

The sharpness in my voice catches his attention, quiet mumbles faking from his lips as he watches me through swollen, red eyes.

"Oh god, Blake..."I whisper, my fingers reaching up to unconsciously trace his prominent jawline, his eyes fluttering close from the contact.

"You're not a bad person."I say, fingers threading into his brown locks, massaging his scalp, "You've done some unreasonable stuff. But you're feeling the guilt. You've come to accept that what you've done was wrong. And that's what matters. That we learn from our mistakes. That we mould ourselves into a better person."

Strong arms reach out to me, fingers gripping my waist as he pulls me to his lap.

"Blake! You're pressuring yourself!"I shout, suddenly conscious of the weight he would've had to lift to accomplish me sitting upon him.

"Shhh."he mumbles, resting his head in the crook of my neck, lips brushing ever so slightly against my skin.

I shiver, my mind screaming for me to shove him away.

He's in a fragile state. Go easy on him.

A silent sigh falls from my lips as I relax in his hold, my fingers tugging softly at his hair, an action which I soon learn that he greatly appreciates.

"I'm sorry."he whispers against my neck, "I'm sorry not treating your right. You were an angel. The best thing that happened to me. And back then I was a selfish prick who didn't appreciate the best things in life. And I l-let you go. I convinced myself that I didn't care. That you were nothing to me. Worked, for maybe a month or so until it really started to hit home."

He sniffles, and I can feel moisture against my skin but I can't bring myself to pull away, the somber emotions he displayed striking a deep cord within me.

"I missed you. So bad. And I can't even imagine what you would've have felt. To have the man you were supposed to spend your whole life with you treat you as if you were utter crap beneath his shoe. I'm sorry for that. I'm so, so sorry. If there were anything that I could do to make you forgive me, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

His shoulders wrack with every sob, my free hand rubbing soothing circles upon the white dress like material that dons his back. I try not to notice the way I can easily feel his bones under my hand, once built with nothing but muscles.

"I want you back Ali. W-Want you back so bad. But I know that's not going to happen. Because I hurt you. Really, really bad."he sobs, light hiccups pausing his speech, "I'm s-sorry."

He mumbles apologises for the next hour, stumbling over his words as he fights through the stem of tears that obscure his vision. My own eyes are glassed over, as I bite down hard on my lip to refrain from releasing my own cries.

I sigh quietly as he becomes limp in my hold, gently pushing the man away from my hold. With two hands I lower his head to the pillow, carefully. Pulling myself off the bed, I allow myself to watch my ex-lover, nostalgic emotions burning at my chest as I breathe out.

He's mumbling something again, balled fists clenching at the pillow, eyes screwing shut as tears flow from under his bent lashes.

"I'm sorry."

___________

Double update cuz I felt so bad for not updating in forever!