Hidden Truths - Ethan

17 - The Lesson

I hum at her answer. I could dig deeper now and maybe get some more confusing answers, but I actually don't care too much about it. I wasn't able to protect her but I got another shot to keep my promise.

Maybe I am finally allowed to find the one thing I long for hundreds of years; salvation. I really want to believe that she is my chance. How more obvious could it be? There is an innocent girl, with some kind of never-ending trust in me; and without knowing a thing about me and my past. What to do? It can't be. Can it?

"Why are you still here, little lady?" I ask her instead and she looks puzzled but doesn't answer.

"Answer me. Why are you still around?" I growl a bit grumpy and she flinches.

"I... I am..." she presses her hands in her lap looking to the ground. This again. I thought we are over that. I sigh before I stump out the cigarette and get up.

"Come here," I point in front of me and she also gets up to come to stand in front of me.

"Look at me," she raises her head until her eyes finally meet mine. "Henriette, you owe me nothing and there is no need to be around me. So, I'll ask you once more now, why are you still here?" keeping my tone calm and cold. In the corner of her eyes, tears start to form. Oh no, not that again, I also thought we are over THAT. My eye twitches.

"Mister Vinge, may I speak openly?" she finally asks silently.

"What is the purpose of me asking you, if I wouldn't want you to do that?" I straighten out and she blinks a few times obviously trying to not start crying.

"I... I like to be... around you, Mister Vinge," she starts and her voice cracks and she can't stand my gaze anymore, looking back to the ground. "You lost half of your hand and nearly your life because I was acting stupid,..." now the tears start to run down her cheeks silently, "You stole my first kiss and... and..." she adds so silently that I nearly can't hear her, before pressing her hand against her mouth and nose.

Oh, I did? I guess she means while I was trying to drug her. I'm not sure that this counts as a kiss, but I actually didn't think any further about it. When did people become so picky about such things?

"That still doesn't explain anything. I can ensure you that it was out of necessity and in fact, you've been the one to come to my room after I asked you to. What if I wouldn't have bitten you but tried other things? You can't be so stupid to not know what it means when a man invites you to his room."

The crying continues and I think she isn't able to talk as she tries to get enough air to breathe. "You should have trusted your colleagues and what they say about me. I'm not a good man," I keep on talking. I expected her to finally leave the room and get away from me, but she still stands there.

She already got in trouble because of me; I won't let that happen again. It's not safe for a human to be around me. I already gave in to Tristan, but at least I can be sure that he knows how to defend himself if needed. The closer you let
people come to you, the more exposed you are; the more attackable you are.

She moves forward pressing her face against my chest and nearly squeezing my upper body. I tense up. What the hell is she doing?

"I've seen... your nightmares, Mister Vinge. Every night I was here..." she sobs. "There was so much blood... all over you..."

I can't understand everything she says but I guess she is talking about the fight in front of the carriage now. I sigh before I put my arms around her.

"I know, little lady, I know," I can't get myself to push her away. I hate myself for my weakness.

In the end, I'm still responsible for her and that she doesn't start to tell people about my little outtake on her collarbone; especially because I told Tristan to not fix things for me anymore.