Hidden Truths - Ethan

42 - The Confession I

Henriette's hands start to search for something on the side table and I help her to get to it. It's a pendant on a necklace and as she opens it I can see her picture in it. "This is for Nora. Please give it to her... please make sure she is safe. I trust you. Mr. Vinge – I need to protect her, by dying. Please make sure she'll stay safe.", I nod and take her hand. 

"I do understand.", I say and she nods smiling at me. "I knew you would. Please remember, no matter what they say about you, I fell in love with the man they call the Butcher. I know your weak spot...", she finally says and I wrinkle my forehead. "My weak spot?", I ask and she smiles taking my hand onto her cheek again. I can see her enjoying the touch.

"Your problem is not that you don't empathize, it's the opposite..." I can feel her grip getting weaker. "Henriette, stay awake.", I shake her softly and another deep breath of her tells me that she tries. Her eyelids are flickering and I still can't decide what to do. "Mr. Vinge,...", she starts once more. "Yes, little lady. What is it?", I say forcing myself to smile at her. "Mister Vinge...", she murmurs. "Yes? Henry?"

"Kill... Kill...", she stammers before she finally faints and I can't help but look at her with angry eyes. I start yelling at her. "Whom shall I kill? Henriette! Whom?" What did just happen? Will I really help her to die now instead of just wait until she turns? Am I allowed to decide against her will, just because it's easier for me? I can't believe this is happening. I know very well what will come out of this but still feel she earns it.

Putting my mouth softly over her still bleeding wound I start to drink. Even the voice in my head that demanded her blood so badly is silent now. It's bitter to have the sweet juice of her life of running down my throat, but I need to drain her. I need to take it all to make sure she doesn't turn; obeying to her last wish. So I force myself to keep on drinking, even though I realize that she must have had more than just blood. 

I don't even recognize the other man's blood but there is this substance in her blood. That won't keep me from doing what needs to be done. They poisoned her and I will have to deal with the consequences. I will find who did that to her. That one guy who seems to know me, but if it is that way, I will also recognize him, when we meet. 

There will be no hiding from the butcher and not even Tristan will be able to stop me from killing that vampire and taking all of what he is. I can feel the tears running down my cheeks as the taste of Henry's blood starts to become a different one. I could stop now and hope that she turns. I could tell her that I tried but failed when she wakes up, but I would know about the lie. She earns the respect not to do that.

That's why I keep on drinking until there is nothing left. Slipping her numb body onto the ground next to the bed I get angry with myself. Turning around, the image, the mirror gives me, is one that I hate. 

I am useless.

I am a useless brute who killed that one girl who just said she fell in love with him. Out of anger, I start to punch it and it shutters. The pain on my knuckles gives me some relieve. Why is it always me to decide things that shouldn't be decided? The mirror is just the beginning as I start yelling at the dead body and letting it all out by damaging whatever I get into my hands. I turn furniture into splinters, and myself into a raging boar. No matter what I do, it is wrong. 

"How can you dare?", I yell one last time as I realize that it isn't of any use. Seeing her lying there with open eyes gives me the urgency to hide with her. When did she open her eyes? Has she been awake in between? Did she wake while I was drinking from her? The thought about her last feeling being me, who is killing her, let me hate myself even more. 

I take her into my arms and sink down in one corner. "I'm sorry, little lady.", I whisper and just hold her. I dragged her into that. I hurt her and I finally killed her. When will I ever be able to stop hurting people?