Hidden Truths - Ethan

50 - The Messenger

The same black-haired beasts close the gate that also closed and opened it for me when I was still an ambassador. I take another moment to look at them, before turning just to see Lyall leave for his own patrol. I can catch him now, unprepared or wait for his return. I have the whole night, so there is a lot of time to spare.

Connor joins me at my way to the ledge. "Did Lyall tell you to babysit me?" Connor smiles at my question. "You bet..." I nod and we keep on walking through the forest at the soaked underground. The mud between my toes gives me chills at the memory of my nightmare. I forgot my boots with all that happenings the last night and day. Shoes are a luxury, not lot beasts are graced with. Tristan's blood in me stabilizes me though.

When we enter the ledge, Connor stops for a moment. "What the..." he looks around at the bloodstains on the wall and the ground before his eyes stay glued at the ripped shirt on the floor. For the first time since we started to make out, we have been able to do as we please without any worries to damage anything. One could say that it was an intense day. "What?" I bring in the bucket I left outside to catch the rain and start to wash my face.

"I didn't realize he isn't wearing a shirt anymore," he chuckles. I look at his amused face, as he wants to pick it up. "Don't," I warn. He arches a brow before he is shaking his head. "You need to stop seeing him as your god. He is just a man."

I growl silently but then get back to rub my arms with the wet cloth. "There is no God."

"Is that so?" He keeps wandering around and pretends to inspect the bloodstains. "Connor, tell me what I did after I killed Maria..." My voice is low and he turns around in surprise. "You don't know?" I shoot him a glare. "Would I ask if I'd know?"

He smiles apologetically before starting to tell me what happened that night. I need to throw some more water into my face at that news. That is why Lyall and Tristan knew about Gwendolyn.

"You always say we are brothers," I say after a long silence to process. He sat down and started to draw lines in the dirt with a stick. I can see him looking up from the scribbling. "I mean it! You let me beat instead of teaching me a lesson and I like to be around you. You remind me of my older brother. Unfortunately, he died long ago." I roll my eyes. "You will die too if you don't stop."

"Bullshit," he grins and I shrug. I tried. That is all I could do for him. Getting up I start to put on the leather armor I was able to create within the time out here and Connor observes me. "What's the plan?"

"The plan is to talk to Lyall." My face is straight as I strap down the knife on one side and an ax, I took with me before, on the other side of my belt. "And therefore you need those?"

"That's just precaution," I smirk and he chuckles. "I don't like the thought that you harm him," he then says seriously. That is the second time I get the impression that there is a serious self that he only hides behind all that stupid jokes. "It's up to him."

I pick up Tristan's shirt and take a deep breath of his scent. Tomorrow. Silently missing him and shoving all my longings and desires into the last corner of my being is just not possible anymore. "It's his scent," I tell Connor but he stays silent, "It keeps me sane."

With that, we make our way to the main cave to wait for Lyall's return. When he is on patrol, he is not easy to catch as he controls the barricades or sometimes he also meets with other beasts to get an overview of his territory. I doubt that he is only on watch at one point tonight.

We sit down in a corner at the main cave and lightning ourselves a cigarette while Connor for some reason starts to tell me the story why he came here at all. Even though, I have to wonder if he tells everybody about it so openly. His tone is hushed and his eyes are wandering around talking about hunger and struggle.