Insatiable

28

I sigh as I prepare to sit next to Maliah for this last class. It's been unbearably gruesome between us. We're quiet and unmoving ... like stone. And never would I have ever thought things would be like this between us. It's not fair. She's my best friend, but she hurt me. We need space. That's life, I guess.

I walk into class and of course she's already there. She has her notebook ready and her blue mechanical pencil sitting between her ear and head. However you want to call that.

I take my seat next to her and try to stay as far away from her as possible. It's only been maybe two weeks. Ever since I decided to leave her on my front porch time has been distorted. Things shouldn't be like this between us, between any pair of best friends.

Now I'm starting to think was telling her the truth even worth it? Kissing her, risking our friendship. Was it really worth it?

Her voice scared the shit out of me, "Your mother told me."

She's still looking forward at the white board.

Probably doesn't wanna look at me. That's fine.

"Uh, what?" I replied, confused.

"She told me she's getting you a therapist." She said.

I scoffed, "Greaaat."

She finally turned her head to me and her eyes screamed angry, "She said you came home really fucking drunk. You fell, twice."

"She told you?" I repeated. Of course she did. Complains about me not talking to her, I talk to her and then she runs to Maliah. I don't fucking get it.

Her facial expression got scarier and honestly it's pretty fucking hot. "Yeah, Jax. She told me cause she's worried about you. And God if only she knew."

I rolled my eyes, "It wasn't a big deal and yeah she's getting me a therapist. That won't last long."

"It was with Hielee, wasn't it? Cause you don't talk to anyone else." She spoke in a low tone.

I shrugged, "Yeah. So?"

She stared at me for a few moments. It felt like fucking forever before she spoke, "We take space and you go back to this shit?"

"Maliah. A few margaritas isn't going to kill me."

She shook her head, "And that's how it starts. You know that. You know of all people know that the best."

I nodded, "I know."

"So then why?" She asked softly. Her eyes flickered back to the soft grey ones that I know and love so much. "Why can't you just write. Or draw?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's whatever. Just drop it."

"And that's why she's getting you help. You need to let her help you." She said.

I looked away, "Sure."

"Jax. I love you. I just want you to get better. I want you to be okay ... no matter what we're going through."

I shrugged trying not to let her words from that night replay in my head. I just want to become numb to it all. Drinking sorta does that for a while.

"So, how are you and Hielee?" She asked randomly. "It seems you guys are hanging out a lot lately."

"How are we? There's no we. She's still just a friend." I answered in a dry tone.