Alias- Forever And Always

28) Panama Night

AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): One Night in Bangkok (Radio Edit) by Murry Head, Blue by La Tour, I Love You by Sarah McLachlan, More Than This By One Direction, Kissing You (Instrumental) by Desiree from Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack, I Will Remember by Amy Grant, Stay by Rihanna feat. by Mikky Ekko.

 their situation crashing down as they stood apart with arms in the air, both with tears running down their cheeks.

Everyone including Kendall, had tears pricking their eyes watching the dramatic scene and he rubbed his fingers over his mouth and chin leaning against his hand, shaking his head sadly at how everything went down.

Judy reaching up and taking his hand, linking her fingers with his and giving him a teary smile of support, knowing he somehow thought it was his fault that the Marshals interrupted.

Irina was surprised to hear Julian taunting Sydney in Paris and that he actually said he thought of her as his mother, admitting that to Sydney before he ever admitted it to her. That the two were both jealous of each other's relationship with Irina was clear to everyone on this mission trip especially when Sydney denounced any curiosity of her mother or the time Julian spent with her by saying she 'wouldn't be baited with stories of a woman she never knew' when it clearly irked her.

When Jack approached the glass of Irina's cell he had prepared himself to be completely emotionless with her. To not let her get to him in anyway and show complete indifference this time as he was angry that he'd let himself slip with her before on their trip to Kashmir.

Irina was manipulating him, of that he was certain and he wouldn't let her get to him again.

He knew she was planning something and would eventually be gone again. How? He wasn't certain, but she was too much of a free spirit to turn herself into be locked up for the rest of her life. She was born to run, that much he knew…or at least he thought he did.

Visions of her jumping into his arms after her morning run, sweat soaked curls pinned to her face and a smile lighting her eyes as she kissed him before getting ready for the day blazoned across his memory and Jack shook his head to clear the image of the women then looking at the woman now.

Her love of running could have been part of the illusion as well, he reasoned.

There was a fear inside him, something he didn't want to admit to even himself, but the thought of her leaving his life again got to him…

The offer he was about to extend to her stemmed from that fear. He'd offer her the 'illusion' of freedom…and hoped she'd take it.

What he hadn't been prepared for was to be broadsided with the idea that they were still married. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind as he'd been trying so hard to separate Laura from Irina in his mind.

He was widowed by Laura…but he wasn't, really. She was standing before him in the flesh of Irina.

He also wasn't prepared to see her smile over that fact or then apologize when she saw what must have been a look of horror run across his face with the suggestion.

"I'd be lying if I didn't say the look of absolute horror on Jack's face at the thought of still being married to me didn't weigh in some way in making my decision not to confess my plans," Lena's voice narrated over the image of Irina pacing in her cell and then leaning against the glass with a sigh, "I looked at him and still saw the man I fell in love with all those years ago; he looked at me and only saw lies and deception and the greatest mistake in his life. I didn't think I could live with seeing that look on his face on a regular basis. There would never be again what was and I couldn't live with an illusion. He was right in what he said about Sydney. For as much as I loved my daughter, and would die to keep her near me, to stay…it would be for my own selfish reasons instead of what was best for her." She crossed her arms over her chest; letting her head, rest against the glass with tear filled eyes, "And the best thing for her was to keep her safe at all costs. I needed to stick to the plan. The plan to get her out of this life and to confess my plan would be to ruin the only chance to do that…I wanted her to have a life…a life without danger and where she could openly love whomever she wanted without secrets and lies and rules. Jack had said that Sydney had spent most of her life without me…and she would get used to it again. As much as that thought pained me, I also knew it was true…and for the best."