radiance | baekhyun

65

18:06.

england was colder, and harsher in its exterior, than the brightened, sun-lit streets of lyon. roma wasn't sure whether she liked it anymore, as the few months had made a difference. the soft, wispy breeze floating in between the streets and suburban housing chilled her; acted as a reminder. not like the stiff heat, sweltering in the humid air, that she'd grown so accustomed to. 

the wind reminded her of the present moment. 

it wasn't as if london was not exciting and filled with passion. of course, it was. every tremor and vibration could be felt. she could sense the static energy as she got onto the underground, and as the warm air gushed and roared past her ears, flipping her hair dramatically. the apparent dirt and filth of london filled her lungs, as she walked through the street, attempting to subdue her thoughts.

the sun was present in intervals throughout the duration of the day. clouds cowered across its powerful and bright rays, extending across the skyline. at noon, the sun would burn across the busying streets of central london, making the rush of the city less bearable and more tense, filling all of the gaps and spaces. unlike in lyon, where it merely melted across the cobbles, filtering in through the tinged atmosphere. 

still hot, but people in london appeared more frantic and busy, with a particular and intense agenda. lyon had been filled with crowds and faces, but it had been far more pleasant and eased. no inherent rush. 

her mum's house was quiet and small, and a lot more still than she had remembered. 

roma noticed how much less she conversed with her surroundings than she had done whilst living with mia. mia had brought out the shyness and welcomed her easily into the excitement of her own life. 

her mother worked during most of the day, coming home at around 8pm, only to give roma a tired smile and a gentle update on what she'd accomplished that day. then, she would make herself a cup of tea and heat up some leftovers, and go and sit on her laptop, glasses on, typing away. 

roma thought it was funny, how only a couple of months of sunshine could erase a large part of her memory of what life was like at home. how it had been for the past six years. she would observe carefully, almost testing her mum, as she would stand by the counter and say something about her own day, to which her mother would just reply with a delayed response of acknowledgement, even though she hadn't listened to a word roma had said. 

living abroad for the summer had been the most exciting period of roma's life. and roma had this urge to tell he mother everything: to confide in her completely, and to share both the good memories and the painful ones. to perhaps even tell her about baekhyun, and everything else. her mother just listened, or pretended to, and nodded benevolently, not really paying full attention. 

roma would go up to her room, and sigh, dropping her head heavily into her hands. wishing for change. wishing for that spark of life to inject into her mother, to assure her that, really, everything was okay. 

the frowning was an inherent feature of her mother's ageing face. her hair, pulled back tightly, accentuated the sharpness in her stare and in her jawline, and matching the thin collar and shoulder bones that protruded from her shirt. she couldn't be convinced. there was nothing roma could really say that would make her laugh out loud, or reassure her, at the very least. 

but, at the end of the day, it didn't affect her so much. she was used to it. 

mia was back at home, too, although roma hadn't heard much of her since they'd both returned. admittedly, they'd spent two months together, and perhaps needed a slight break from each other's company. her behaviour towards the end had been odd and questionable, and as roma sat at her desk, mindlessly doing things on her laptop, she came to the realisation that she herself had been rather selfish.