Harry Potter Therapy

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by TheHalfBloodPrincess

by TheHalfBloodPrincess

It has been seven years since the publication of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and Harry and the gang feel that nostalgia is taking it's toll. So they started a therapy group with Voldemort as the leader.

*Every Harry Potter character is gathered in a room, waiting for Voldemort to arrive*

Voldemort: *Enters, wearing Nagini as a scarf* ALRIGHT EVERYBODY SHUT UP OR IMMA GET THE BELT OUT

*Room falls silent*

Voldemort: TODAY WE GON LEARN SHAPES

Wormtail: My Lord! I thought this was a therapy session?

Voldemort: THIS IS A THERAPY SESSION SHUT UP CRETIN *Points to chalkboard with wand, drawn on the chalkboard is the Deathly Hallows emblem* SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT SHAPES THESE ARE

Harry: AHHHH ALL MY FEELS MAKE IT STOP! *Gross sobbing*

Dumbledore: PICK ME PICK ME I KNOW ALL ABOUT DEM SHAPES

Voldemort: YES, OLDIE TELL ME ABOUT DEM SHAPES

Dumbledore: THERE'S A TRIANGLE AND A CIRCLE AND A STICK WHICH REPRESENTS A THING

Xeno: OH MY GOD OLDIE YOU CAN'T JUST CALL THE TALE OF THE THREE BROTHERS A THING

Cedric: YAAAAAAS SLAAAAAY!

*All turn to Cedric*

Peeves: Who the hell are you

Cedric: That's a bit ironic coming from —

Harry: SHUT UP SPARKLY CEDDY, WE'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED IT'S #DEFENDPEEVES2014 THIS YEAR

*Whole room boo's Cedric out, tossing rubbish at him for violating #DefendPeeves2014*

Snape: I can't believe I'm still here, I'm leaving to go and check on the potions I made earlier...*Leaves*

Lucius: 420 BLAZE IT, SNAPE *Leaves with him*

Sirius: Shouldn't he be saying that to the Hufflepuffs?

Harry: Whatever, this is boring. I'm going back to my closet

Draco: I KNEW YOU'D NEVER LEAVE IT, HARRY, I'M COMING WITH YOU

Narcissa: Ugh, Drarry... *Rolls eyes*

ALRIGHT LOVELIES, WE'VE GOT TO DEFEND PEEVES. TO HELP HIM OUT WRITE IN THE COMMENTS '#DefendPeeves2014' HE NEEDS YOUR HELP. MAY PEEVES LIVE ON (Well, that was uncalled for, Lucy...)

UPDATE 10/02/2015: I now realise it is 2015 so i think it's time we stepped our game up and started commenting #DefendPeeves2015. We will never stop supporting Peeves the Poltergeist!