immortal ⇢ h.s

twenty one

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."-E.H

Song for this chapter: Nightingale by Demi Lovato

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It's been two weeks since the funeral. To say I was upset was an understatement. I was an emotional wreck, just without showing it. I haven't left my room since that day. I've barely eaten anything, and when I have it's been small.

My dad doesn't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in a deep pit, just falling and falling, waiting to hit the bottom. It's like I'm drowning, but no one is saving me. It's like skydiving without a parachute.

They all end up in the same thing, pain. Unbelievable pain, but in my case it wasn't physical. My heart hurt. It felt like someone just stabbed it and kept repeating their actions. Harry texts me occasionally, but I told him to leave me alone for the time being.

It was probably a stupid decision, but I needed to be alone right now. I just hope he understands that. This morning I decided it was time for a slight change. A shower. I haven't had a shower since that day, it sounds disgusting but it's true.

While I was in the shower, I let the water pour over me for what seemed like hours. The water was scorching hot, to the point where when I got out my skin was beet red. I was emotionless. I felt empty. No other emotions whatsoever. 

I changed into a new pair of pajamas and went back under my covers. Nothing could hurt me underneath the covers. Well, except for myself, or my brain for that matter. Just as sleep was going to take over there was a quiet knock on the door.

The door was unlocked so I didn't bother to get up and open the door for, most likely, my dad. I shut my eyes again and I heard the door creak open and a few footsteps before I felt a weight on my bed. I looked to the end of the bed and caught eyes with Harry.

"Why are you here?" I croaked out. "Your dad called me." He told me and I didn't respond. "You need to eat, Cay." He said softly and I mentally rolled my eyes. I don't need to do anything, which is exactly why I haven't left my room.

"Please leave, Harry." I whispered with my voice cracking. "No, Cay. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving until you do." He said and I sighed heavily. "I'm not leaving, Harry." I told him sternly and he sighed. "At least eat something." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, but I'm not getting up." I said and turned my gaze to the ceiling. "Okay." He said and got up from the bed. The door opened the closed again and I was left in silence. I exhaled deeply and closed my eyes once again.

I wasn't sleeping, I was just emotionally exhausted. A few moments later the door creaked back open, but this time my lights were flicked on, so my eyes were watering from the sudden light. Once my eyes adjusted to the light I slowly peeled them open.

Harry stood there with an amused expression on his face. "How long has it been since you've turned on the lights?" He chuckled and I shrugged. "This morning I think." I mumbled with my face in my pillow. "How long has it been since you've seen daylight?" He asked.

"Now, that's a good question." I told him and he chuckled. "Here." He said handing me a bowl of oatmeal. The sight of it made my stomach churn. "Eat, Caylah." He said with a warning tone. "Just hold your nose and eat it." He said, seeing that I wasn't going to eat it.

"I don't wanna." I whined like a 5 year old. "Cay, seriously." He said with a roll of his eyes. "Fine." I groaned and took the spoon from the bowl. I brought the mush to my tongue and hesitantly swallowed it. With a gag and I sigh I looked to Harry pleadingly.

"No, eat." He said with a smirk. After 15 minutes of me complaining and Harry yelling at me, the bowl of oatmeal was finally empty. "There. That wasn't so bad, was it?" He said like he was my dad. "That is the most horrific thing I've ever experienced." I exaggerated with a huff.

"Oh, suck it up." He said with a smile. I didn't respond, instead I laid back on my bed. "Lay." I commanded Harry and patted my hand on the space next to me. He chuckled lightly then laid down next to me.

I yawned and my eyes started watering. "Hey, you okay?" He asked noticing my eyes tearing up. "Yeah, my eyes just water when I yawn." I shrugged. "Oh, okay." He trailed off and I nodded my head. I closed my eyes for the millionth time today.

***

Before I knew it, I was waking up again. "135." Harry said to himself. "What's 135?" I asked groggily. "Oh, you're up." He said and I nodded. "Now, what's 135?" I asked with my eyebrows furrowed. "The number of tiles that are on your ceiling." He said and I laughed.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked and he shrugged then checked his watch. "About an hour and a half." He said and I nodded. "You didn't have to stay." I told him and he looked at me like I was an idiot. "I told you I wasn't leaving until you did." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't think you were serious." I told him and he nodded. "I was." He said with a smirk. "Who would've known?" I said with a sigh. "Come on, get dressed." He said, tapping my leg. "No..." I whined. "I wanna stay in my bed." I told him and he rolled his eyes.

"Get out of the bed now." He said pulling my foot. "Harry, no!" I squealed as I tried to grip the headboard. "Nope." He said and with one big pull, I lost my grip on the headboard. "Harry!" I gasped as my body hit the floor with a thud.

"Pick out clothes or I'll pick them out for you." He said with a wink. "Oh God no." I said then got up and reluctantly dug through my clothes. I pulled out a pair of leggings and a tank top then laid them on the bed. 

"What are you doing?" He asked when I sat down on the bed. "You told me to pick out clothes..." I trailed off. "So I did." I said while crossing my arms. "Put them on." He told me and I rolled my eyes, but I decided that I'd done enough pouting for a day.

With a roll of my eyes, I went into the bathroom and changed into the clothes I picked out. When I returned Harry looked at me with a smug smile. "Happy?" I huffed as I laid back down on the bed. "I won't be happy until you leave the house." He said.

"Then enjoy your life of unhappiness." I told him. "I have somewhere special I want to take you." He said and I pursed my lips. "Where?" I asked and he shrugged. "You'll have to see for yourself." He said with a smirk.

"I hate you." I told him then got off of the bed. I slipped on my Toms and walked out of my room, not daring to look at the proud smile he probably had on his face. When I walked down the stairs my dad looked at me, wide eyed.

"Don't talk. I'll be back later." I told him and he nodded with his mouth still agape. I sat on the porch steps while I waited for Harry to come out. Once he did he walked down the steps then turned towards me. "Let's go then." He said and I groaned.

"Help me up." I said with my arms held out in front of me. "Fine." He said then grabbed my hands to pull be up. "Thanks." I said then brushed the dirt on my pants. "Yeah, yeah." He waved it off. "C'mon." He said.

"Where are we going?" I asked after a few moments of silence, other than the sound of our shoes hitting the cement. "You'll see." He said, looking at me through the corner of his eye. "You suck." I told him and he shrugged with a chuckle.

"Harry." I whined after about 20 minutes of walking. "Shut up, Caylah." He said and I obeyed. After about ten more minutes, he turned around to me with a smile on his face. "What?" I asked with a frown. "We're here."

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[A/N: I WAS GONNA MAKE THIS LONGER BUT I HAVE A GOOD IDEA FOR NEXT CHAPTER. SO THIS IS WHAT YOU GET.]