Bechloe - Still In The Dark

Chapter XLIV

It was the day of the funeral and it was the hardest day of Jesse's life. He never thought that he would have to say goodbye to his father so soon but life throws things at people that they don't expect. All of Jesse's family and friends were at the funeral. Beca wanted Chloe to be there with her but the redhead couldn't go for obvious reasons. It was hard for Beca to listen to Jesse's family read out their speeches but it was even harder and more painful to listen to Jesse read out his. Everyone in the audience cried and Beca had to bury her face in her mother's shoulder so she could sob.

Eventually, everyone had concluded their speeches and it was time for Beca to get up on stage and sing her song that she had prepared. She was nervous, to say the least, but she was ready and she was willing to do it for Jesse. The brunette walked up on stage where her music equipment was already set up. She began to play the audio then sang along to it, trying not to look out to the crowd that were watching a slideshow of Jesse's dad next to her.

I ain't gonna cry
I ain't gonna cry

What is my mission
Why am I swimming
In the dirty water
Of a bad decision
Forty days and nights I've been losing my mind
Cause I don't know what's wrong or how to make it right

I ain't gonna cry
I ain't gonna cry
I don't know how to pray
I say hallelujah anyway
I ain't gonna cry

Not a child
But yet I am not free
Stuck in the miles
Somewhere in between
Coming of age in this day and age
It's a long hard fight
You got to sacrifice
You gotta bleed

I ain't gonna cry
I ain't gonna cry
When the choir's gone away
I sing hallelujah anyway
I ain't gonna cry

All of these feelings
I've been suppressing
Gotta get them off my chest
I'm a little unhinged I guess
Is it factual
Or is it all in my head
Now I'm unemployed I can't avoid feeling paranoid

I ain't gonna cry
I ain't gonna cry
When my soul has gone astray
I sing hallelujah anyway

My eyes
Stinging dry
My eyes
Stinging dry
Gonna find it
See the light
Gonna roll under
Got a chance
Go willing
To hang on to the pride

I ain't gonna cry
I ain't gonna cry
I don't know how to pray
I sing hallelujah anyway

I ain't gonna cry
I ain't gonna cry
I don't know how to pray
I sing hallelujah anyway

Beca had finished her song time in time with the slideshow and everyone clapped for her but there was nothing happy about it. Beca was glad that she didn't cry during the song but when she opened her eyes and saw Jesse crying in his mother's arms it was hard not to. So, the brunette quickly left the stage so that everyone could say their goodbye's to Jesse's father, allowing Beca to cry with her mother again.

"You were so brave, darling," Katherine uttered.

"Thanks, mom. I hoped Jesse and his family liked it."

"Oh, I don't think you need to worry about that." Katherine held her daughter a little longer before the brunette was approached by her friends.

"That was amazing, Becs," Stacie spoke.

"Beautiful song,"

"Really moving." The others added.

"Thanks," Beca wiped her eyes. "Where's Jesse?"

"Over with his mom and grandma. He's got loads of people to get through. I wouldn't be able to do any of this." Stacie confessed. "It'd be too hard for me. I've cried so much already!"