The Truth Untold

Park Jimin

~*~

"I can't be free from this pain."

~*~

I watch as Jungkook's back disappears in the crowd of people, my smile slipping. And as Tae continues to eat his ice-cream, making jokes here and there, I can't pay attention. My mind was instead on the boy that had just walked away.

Ever since the day at the cafe, Jungkook had changed. I'm sure the others thought I did not notice this change. How he no longer hung out with us unless we forced him to do so. How he busied himself within his work and homework which he hated to do. How he constantly put on a fake smile that would never reach his eyes.

His eyes.

They used to twinkle with so much mischief and life. Deep brown hues that reflected his beautiful soul. They were an inky black almost at times, yet honey dripped through them when hit with sunlight, illuminating them in this wonderful hazel color that would leave you breathless. They were like the deep woods, surrounded by wonder and warmth of the sun, wanting you to step foot into them to explore further. 

But they no longer shone, instead had dulled into a simple deep brown. Still beautiful, but more tragic and somber than anything else. There was deep pain rooted in them, something he tried his best to hide yet it still shone. 

So how could I not notice that my best friend had changed? That he had become a shell of the man he used to be? 

A part of me blames myself, thinking I was to fault for his current condition. After all he had changed after that day, and for the life of me I could not think why. Was he upset that I had not told him about Tae? Upset that I had not gone to him, my best friend, my other half, and told him I loved someone? 

Perhaps that's exactly what it was. 

Jungkook had always been sensitive, and he had always kept me on a pedestal. Not only did he look up to me, he also loved me very much. I always thought that it was as if he had dedicated his life to make me happy. Sometimes I was afraid I'll never be able to do for him what he does for me. And I especially felt that way now. 

But then I also thought it couldn't be just this that caused him to change so drastically. He'd always forgive me no matter what I'd do. So what exactly was it? 

It hurt every time he called me 'Jimin hyung'. No longer did he use cute little nicknames for me. I was just like the others, no longer special and it hurt that I did not know why it was. And yet what hurt worse was the fact that he was hurting and I had no idea how to help him. No clue as to how to make him open up to me, to tell me what's wrong so I may make that beautiful bunny smile of his make an appearance. 

"Jimin-ah, are you okay," I look over to see Tae watching me with concern, head tilted slightly. The ice-cream had disappeared from his hand, most likely completely eaten in a matter of minutes. I look down at mine, the ice-cream melting and the sticky substance dripping down my hand.