Love.
It is a beautiful word. One that is spoken so wonderfully about in poems and songs.
It is a beautiful feeling. One that is sparkling in the eyes of couples and is felt through their touches.
But every coin has two sides.
As much happiness at...
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~*~
"I grew a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true."
~*~
I couldn't sleep, though I tried with all my might. It didn't matter whether I would lay in the warmth of Namjoon's arms or whether I was alone, left to twist and turn with the turmoil of my mind. Sleep just would not come.
The few minutes I'd get somewhere in between were restless, usually filled with nightmares. And I'd wake up just as exhausted as if I didn't sleep at all.
There was a deep unsettling feeling within my heart, that would increase with each passing day. And I knew deep down that it was because of Jungkook. Wherever he was, something told me he was not safe, and it destroyed me knowing that I could do nothing. Especially those days when the feeling intensified to the point that tears would prick at the corners of my eyes, sometimes falling. Those days I'd worry the most.
And so it kept me awake at night and exhausted during the day.
Unfortunately, my condition took a toll on Namjoon as well. I could see the helplessness in his eyes. The desire to do something, to fix everything, but knowing he cannot. And I tried so hard to be normal, to act normal, to make it as if I'm not affected, but how could I? The once normal that we knew was also falling apart.
Had fallen apart.
Sighing, I rub at my temples, hoping to rub away the headache that was taking over. It was currently two in the morning, and just like every other night, I found myself wide awake. Thankfully, Namjoon had actually fallen asleep today.
I stand before the coffee pot, determined to make myself some coffee in hopes to calm the pain in my head. The soft whir of the machine at work was soothing, but even that could not lull me to sleep, though my eyes ached. Once done, I grab the coffee just like that, not making a move to add milk or creamer.
Though I was never one for anything bitter, things had changed. We had changed.
I let my body fall onto the sofa, another sigh emitting from my lips. A sip of the coffee has me grimacing, but I welcome the warmth and bitterness, enjoying the slight burn that races down my throat. However, this night takes a different turn from usual as I'm reaching for my phone.
The doorbell rings.
Immediately, I freeze, my fingers still outstretched towards the phone. My head turns to look at the door, as if I could see through it and see who stood there. But alas, I was not Superman, so with some hesitation I get up and move to open it, but not before peeking through the peep hole.
I am surprised to see Jimin standing there, worry and guilt etched on his features. His eyes were still filled with pain and grief, but not as much as during the funeral. The puffy eyes and red nose told me enough; he had expelled some of that pain at long last.
