Love.
It is a beautiful word. One that is spoken so wonderfully about in poems and songs.
It is a beautiful feeling. One that is sparkling in the eyes of couples and is felt through their touches.
But every coin has two sides.
As much happiness at...
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*TRIGGER WARNING-MENTION OF RAPE*
~*~
"I wanted things I should not want."
~*~
I bite my tongue to keep from crying out in pain as he throws another punch to my already bruised and aching side. But I can't help as tears fall from my eyes, as every punch leaves a blazing hot pain that courses through my every nerve, igniting my soul in blinding pain.
When he has had his fill, he stands over me, breathing heavily as sweat clung his hair to his forehead. I allow my head to fall back onto the floor, trying to catch my breath as every place on my body hurts, tears tracking the sides of my face.
He had completely lost control today, angrier than usual. For what reason I'm not sure, especially since I had actually not broken any rules today. Quite the opposite, as I had been on my best behavior, doing everything as he preferred, and had even managed a smile at him this morning at breakfast.
Right after breakfast he had gotten up and left, not a word to me, which should have been the first sign that something was wrong. His eyes were a mixture of fear and anger at the table, and the rushed morning had me surprised. After all, he always had something to say to me, whether it be his sickening I love you or his honest words reminding me that I didn't deserve anyone's love besides his twisted one.
But there had been nothing.
And then an hour later he had come home. I had been cleaning around the house, and had made it spotless. I even managed to cook a decent lunch earlier to just have time to sit and hopefully relax. Unfortunately, those plans went down the drain.
I had been washing the dishes, not even having heard him come back, when I was suddenly grabbed by him, fingers enclosing around the back of my neck. The surprise of being attacked so suddenly had left me shocked, so much so that I just let myself be dragged into the living room.
And then the kicking and punching and yelling had started. I had been afraid it wouldn't stop. But it had stopped and now I lay here wondering what had him lose control like that. Before I can gather my thoughts, his fist closes around the front of my shirt, pulling me up effortlessly so that I'm face to face with him, my feet not touching the floor as he keeps me dangling in the air.
I'm sure I weigh nothing with how much weight I've lost these past five months. Or was it six? I can no longer remember, and Youngjae had discarded the calendar. All I knew was winter had come, the snow falling steadily outside, blanketing the roads in pure white. Had it been three weeks now since the first snow fall? Perhaps, but once again I can't quite remember.
"They will never find you," he seethes, spit flying in my face, the water droplets burning when they hit the exposed cuts littering my face, "you are mine and you will be mine forever! I am never letting you go and you will never go back to them!"
