Love.
It is a beautiful word. One that is spoken so wonderfully about in poems and songs.
It is a beautiful feeling. One that is sparkling in the eyes of couples and is felt through their touches.
But every coin has two sides.
As much happiness at...
اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.
~*~
"Adapted to you with everything, I wanted to live my life for you."
~*~
Cold. So cold.
The snow underneath my feet grips me in an icy hold, numbing everything, inside and out. Despite the heaviness of my body giving up underneath the weight of my guilt, my feet take me down a familiar path, fighting against the darkness invading the edges of my vision. My chest hurts as my lungs struggle to draw in enough oxygen due to the cold.
Winds have picked up to the point where the snow comes down like sleet, pelting against my skin, inflaming the flesh. But I do not let it slow me down as I limp through the white wonder, stumbling every so often, only to right myself again. One destination stays alight in my mind like a lamp lit in a darkened window. A flame that would soon extinguish as well.
Though I try to push it away, my mind invades me of all memories. They weren't of one person in particular, nor did they revolve around a single emotion. There were the happy ones, and the sad ones. The ones that made me proud, and the ones that broke me down. Ones that would stay with me forever, and the ones that I wished would disappear.
Memories of the life I had lived, and all that I was lucky and unfortunate enough to experience.
There was the day that I met Jimin. I can still feel the warmth his small hands had offered when he helped me up on the bridge. The sweetness of that lollipop he had given me continues to linger at the tip of my tongue. How he had become my light at a moment where all I saw was darkness. And he pushed through the shadow that surrounded me, so persistent to help and befriend me.
Of all my memories, that one held the most importance to me, something I came to learn long after it occurred.
Then there was the meeting with Yoongi hyung and Hobi hyung. I had never in my life seen two people so different in every aspect get along so well. Not only that, but learn to love each other, accepting the other as is. And I couldn't erase that picture of Yoongi's gummy smile as he gazed upon a widely smiling Hobi hyung, the love so clearly reflected in his mysterious dark orbs.
I remember thinking at that time if I'd ever have someone look at me in that way. As if no one else but I existed in the world. As if there life started and ended with me. As if I wasn't myself, but a part of who they were. One they needed to live.
And though I wished for it, I was happy to not only see it among Yoongi and Hobi, but also Jin hyung and Namjoon hyung. I remember watching with quiet fascination as their gazes would meet, lips lifting up in soft smiles, and the gentlest of touches that would relay their love. Words rarely spoken to do so, but actions enough. And they loved so stunningly that I couldn't help but be envious, though I would always be grateful for the love they had reserved for me in their hearts.
