Love.
It is a beautiful word. One that is spoken so wonderfully about in poems and songs.
It is a beautiful feeling. One that is sparkling in the eyes of couples and is felt through their touches.
But every coin has two sides.
As much happiness at...
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~*~
"Like all the things I thought would last forever are leaving"
~*~
The colors had seemed to drain from the world. Life seemed dull and somber ever since the funeral. It had been a week since the funeral and I still felt the ache of the loss.
An ache I know that will be present forever.
Jimin still had not cried. His rigid posture and numb features at the hospital were still fresh in my eyes. Even at the funeral he merely stood there, eyes trained on the casket as it was lowered and covered with dirt. He refused to speak, to do anything.
I worried for him immensely.
His loss was greater than any of us could imagine and he needed to feel that loss, to cry out and scream. To release the emotions that are no doubt building up inside of him. Release them before they break him down.
But he refused, and I knew that he'd break when it would finally hit, and all I hoped is someone be there for him at the time.
On the other hand, Jungkook had me worried as well. He blamed himself for the death, saying that he had cursed Tae. I know he was referring to when he had his breakdown, crying out and muttering the words he regretted almost instantaneously. And despite my telling him that he was not at fault, he refused to believe me.
At the funeral he stood at the back, furthest away from the casket, saying he did not deserve to be any closer. His tears had been exhausted but the guilt was etched on his features just the same. And I hurt, not knowing who to comfort or even how.
And the worry did not stop there.
A few days after the funeral, Namjoon and I had been sitting in the living room, quiet. The silence was heavy with grief and sadness, no words spoken, a normal day for us since Tae's death. The night before I had confronted Jungkook, asking him to be there for Jimin, but he refused saying that Jimin deserved better.
That Jungkook did not deserve Jimin, not his friendship nor his love.
The quiet had been disturbed with Jungkook rushing into the house, tears once more streaming down his face. He closed the front door behind him, leaning against it, not realizing we are in the room.
I had asked him what was wrong, startling him out of whatever thought he was trapped in. There was fear and guilt within his eyes and I stood to approach him.
"I am leaving," he had said, not meeting my eyes and causing me to halt my steps in shock.
"Leaving," both Namjoon and I had asked, the surprise and confusion evident in our voice.
He had merely nodded before pushing past me to his room. I had followed him rather reluctantly, watching as he stuffed clothes and other items into a suitcase. His hands pause over the picture frames, before grabbing the one of him, Jimin, and Tae from the day of the proposal.
