The Diary of Existing

THIRTY

THIRTY

Ever since we had returned from our holidays, it felt weird being around Morgan. I've had this experience some time before, but now it was a bit more different. The weeks that have gone by, I had tried my very best to stay away from Morgan as much as I could. I felt less guilty doing this, because Colin was away and had not visited her in a while. I caught up with Henry some time in the second week we all came back and he told me about how his father was talking about working out some sort of business concept with Colin. I spaced out with the rest of the information.

I had tried to keep myself busy. It was quite hard during the first week, since everyone was still adjusting which meant classes had not started. Even if I hated volunteering, I had practically begged for Jacqueline to get me to do something, so I could have an excuse not to spend time with Morgan or Angel. Once classes had begun, I had volunteered for anything and almost everything that was being thrown at us students. Some of the teachers were finding it odd, but majority were enthusiastic seeing that the silent little old me was participating.

I had so much on my plate, that I didn't even think about my mother. Dr. Palmer was still away on vacation, but has tried her best to keep in contact with me. Her very last message was telling me that she wouldn't be able to meet me for a Friday session, but would on the incoming Saturday. I haven't even seen Henry until the time he told me about Colin not being able to stick around and bother Morgan. He seemed to be busy himself too.

Everything was just going by so fast. I was like a robot, doing one thing after the other, barely getting any sleep whatsoever. Jacqueline was even concerned for me, that she decided to take some of the load off of me and helped me with the rest.

When Friday rolled by, I felt like my entire body was about to give in. I had entered the dining hall, dragging my feet. I ate with Jacqueline and the other girls. Hannah had a lot of energy and was keeping up with the fast pace talks with Bailey. Jacqueline had glanced over me several times making sure I wasn't using my plate full of food as a pillow.

I had felt so tired that I couldn't even finish my meal. I didn't even get halfway through and I had excused myself and told them that I was going to head back to the room, that I was just so exhausted. Jacqueline offered to walk me but I told her I was still capable. She simply gave me a smile and they all bid me goodbye. I had walked out of the dining hall, without even looking, I could feel Morgan watching me.

I headed for the bench by the caretaker's tool shed, near the greenhouse. The same place I had met Henry for the first time, and the only place around the grounds that was far away from the girls, hidden, dark and quiet. It was a creepy area for some, but to me it was just peaceful. It was dark at night, but during the day it was beautiful. My eyes were slowly giving up on me, I could feel the weight of it just going down.

"Do you not like me or something?"

A voice spoke and I found myself jumping from my seat. My heart was racing and I tried to look at who it was, but it was too dark and I couldn't make out the figure. The panic in me was still not going away, mainly because I really had no fucking clue who it was standing there, and I was honestly ready to swing a punch, but I had felt too terrified to even move. One's first instinct should be to run, but mine seems to be just standing still.

"Alex, relax, it's me, Wesley." Wesley pulled out his phone and had set the flashlight on. I breathed out, relieved. The initial surge of panic that was going through me was slowly drifting and escaping my body. I still wanted to punch him though.

"Don't do that!" I said and all he did was laugh at my reaction. I slowly sat back down, and the sleepiness I had initially felt was now replaced by unexplained and unending adrenaline that I just wanted to go away.