The Diary of Existing

FIFTY FOUR

FIFTY FOUR

I found myself sitting at a bar, my leg uncontrollably shaking. It was like I was nervous, but what for?

I sat by the bar stool, there was barely any people inside. The bartender knew I was underage, but slid me a beer anyways. It was just in front of me, and I watched as droplets of water began to slide on its sides. I sighed and grabbed the glass of beer and chugged it out. I could taste the bitterness of it more, and how well that played with my situation.

I almost didn't even want to go to tomorrow's party. But I tried to remember what my mother had told me, to not let Morgan intimidate me. But was I even intimidated by her to begin with?

I hopped off the bar stool and took the first bus back to Central, and from there took another to head back to Queen Mary's. I was headed for the gate when someone grabbed me by my writ, spun me around and put me in a hug through the waist.

It was Henry.

He had a huge smile on his face and I couldn't return it, because my initial reaction is to look around and see if anyone was there to spot us.

"Don't worry, none of the Harrow boys are around. There's a game going on by the field, all of them are there even Wesley. And I don't see any girls from your end." Henry said, but it still wasn't enough to make me feel reassured. I slowly pulled away and the smile on his face faded.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned. I nodded my head, handing over a weak smile which he obviously was not falling for. His brows were still furrowed and worried.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" Henry asked, and I debated whether I would tell him or not. I didn't even know what I would tell him.

Should I tell him the good news? About how me and my mother seemingly made progress and how I had invited her to Claire's party? He was going too, right? Or do I just straight up tell him about my little chat with Morgan in the girls' room at Bread?

He pulled me closer to his side, joining us by the hip, and he kept nudging me and asking me what was wrong. Trying to get me to speak up, but I stared blankly on the graveled road. He looked around before pulling him to walk with me to the side of the street, over by the fence and towards these hidden stone steps that led down to the beach that was below the hill where the schools stood tall.

I never even knew there were steps to head down there, I always thought there was probably a road you had to drive through to get there. Was this another one of Henry's little secret spots? Like how Wesley has the lavender fields? We walked up towards the shore, and he sat down, the water would climb up and his feet would be two inches away from the water. He pulled me to sit down next to him, placing his arm around me.

"We're alone. No one is aware that those steps exist, because they all know that the other set of steps a few walks away broke down. They don't know about the one we just went through. Now, tell me, what's wrong?" Henry said, he was looking at me but I was just watching the water slide towards the sand and then back into the ocean with the rest of it.

"I bonded with my mother today. She's coming with me to Claire's party." I said and I could feel him smiling. He nudged me once, pulling me closer.

"That's great isn't it? What's with the long face then?" He said and I sighed.

"Morgan doesn't like me." I said and Henry was silent. His grip on my shoulder was loose compared to how it was. I turned to him, and he had the look of guilt. He wasn't even looking at me anymore. He was staring at a seashell that was right next to his feet.

"Did you know?" I asked, pulling away a little. Feeling a bit betrayed at the thought that he might have known about how Morgan felt about me.

"Yes." Henry answered, without hesitation.