The Diary of Existing

THIRTY THREE

THIRTY THREE

The following day, as me and Jacqueline were getting ready for class, there was an awkward silence in the room. And I could see that she was trying her best not to look at me, but that she wanted to talk to me and apologize for whatever she did. And I say this, in the context that she isn't even aware of what she did. I know, because I never told her.

"It's okay. Let's just get past it. I'm sorry too." I said and I watched her as she placed her bag down on her bed, she turned and she looked sad. Like she was about to cry. I approached her and hugged her. I heard her sniffling.

Everything that had happened was done out of anger. Tessa was Jacqueline's best friend, this I understood. I understood that it was painful for her. That Morgan was the very clear reminder of Tessa's existence and the memory of what had happened to her. Despite it being years, Jacqueline would never get over that pain.

"Let's just go to class." I said and she nodded.

I felt so mature at that moment. I linked arms with Jacqueline as we headed to our classes. She seemed like she was slowly becoming happier by the minute, and her interactions with me in class was evidence of it. I didn't bother to look behind us to wonder if Morgan was around, if Morgan was seeing us.

This was because I knew Morgan was okay. I knew that Morgan could tough it out. Because after what had happened in that office, and what I've seen. I could tell that one thing me and Morgan had in common, was how heavy we carried the burden we called our lives was. We weren't in the same situation, but we felt the same type of anger, pain, unattainable happiness and unsatisfying childhood.

At lunch, Jacqueline had to be elsewhere for whatever duties she had in this school. There was too many to even keep track. Bailey, Hannah and I spent lunch at the library. Bailey spent it sleeping on top of a Philosophy book, and Hannah was just building a house of cards. I was playing a game of tetris on my phone when I got a notification.

Hey, you okay?

It was from Henry. I texted him back that I was okay, that I was feeling a bit better. And it was true. I did feel a bit better. I really did feel that some weight was lifted off my chest. I felt relieved, I could breathe more. Wouldn't say I was cured, but what Henry did for me truly helped. I actually wondered about how I was going to tell him thank you.

Meet me at the bench tonight. I have something for you.

I just stared at his text, and spend the entire day wondering what it was. It definitely piqued my interest wondering what he had for me. But I simply found myself smiling when I remembered how Henry was quick to take me somewhere dark and quiet, where no one would see us and hear what I had told him.

I kept staring at anything that told me time. From the clocks in the classroom, my phone, my watch, Bailey's watch, the clock on the computer at class, Jacqueline's watch, Jacqueline's phone and even that stupid giant clock in front of the main building. I didn't even bother to eat dinner. I told Jacqueline that I was skipping, and that I was okay but I just didn't feel hungry.

I went to the bench, sat down and waited. I didn't even know what time exactly tonight Henry wanted to meet. I didn't know if it was before dinner, after, maybe even close to midnight? I didn't have a clue. What does it mean anyway when they say by meet me tonight like is there a certain time for it? I grabbed my phone and was about to text him when suddenly something wrapped in a bow appeared in front of me. I looked up, and it was Henry.

"Here." He said as he sat down. I grabbed what appeared to be a notebook, a bit torn, but it had a beautiful bow on it. I looked at him confused, and he simply gestured for me to open it. And so I did. One simple pull on the ribbon and I had accessed to the notebook.