The Diary of Existing

FIFTY TWO

FIFTY TWO

It was Friday. And I was sitting by the bus stop a couple steps away from Queen Mary's gate, staring at the road ahead like it was my imminent doom. This was going to be the first day I go back into a session with my mother. The things she told me when I was at her house at Holmes Chapel was still ringing in my ear. It just kept it occupied, kept my mind thinking and running its gears.

I plugged on my earphones and had Can't You Hear Me Knocking by the Rolling Stones on loop. It was good background noise. That's what it was, background noise. Not music, just that. I wasn't the type who listened to music, I already had a lot running through my mind and music was the last thing I wanted in my head too.

"Where you going?" I hear someone talk. I pull off one earbud and turn to my left, to see Morgan and Angela sitting there by the bus stop. They looked like they were headed off. But I thought they were staying back, since Morgan got in trouble for skipping class and getting caught.

"I thought you had detention, or whatever." I said, sounding unenthusiastic at the sight of her. And she noticed this, as she flashed me a smirk.

"And here I thought you'd be glad to see us again. We haven't hung out in a while. Where are you going?" Angel chimed in, leaning forward so I could see her considering how Morgan was sitting so casually yet was hovering.

"I'm meeting my mother." I said, I wanted to leave it at that but knowing these two it was going to probably go further.

"So, how are you and Wesley? I haven't seen that one either. Although his mother's hosting off a little party tomorrow. You going to that, I assume?" Morgan said, her voice sounding testy. What was her problem?

"Yeah." I said, trying to be firm with my answers. I was staring her down. I was sick of whatever games she was trying to pull off. Her on and off personality, whether she likes me or hates me. I don't know where it's coming from. I didn't know if it was coming from the fact that me and Jacqueline are closer than ever, or the fact that I'm being courted by Wesley and she didn't approve. It wasn't as if she owned them.

At first, I thought she was just protective. But her little game is getting old. And it doesn't seem like she's just being protective. She was purposely trying to intimidate me. But I had a mother who did that for a living, and so I was getting over it. I was getting sick of it.

What the hell am I even talking about?

"I guess we'll see you there then." Morgan said as she stood up when a black town car rolled up. Angel hops in from the back, and as Morgan was about to, she stops and looks at me, her arm resting on the hood of the sedan.

"You want a ride?" Morgan offered. Her face, still attempting intimidation. From the distance I could see the bus slowly approaching. I wanted to say no, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to sit on the bus next to random strangers who were either coming from a night of drinking smelling like every single liquor made, or an old lady who just smelled like biscuits and tea.

"Sure." I said and got up, not really thinking about how I was going to go my separate ways with these girls.

"Where do we drop you off?" Morgan asks and I didn't think this through. Maybe her little intimidation was getting to me.

"Where are you guys getting off?" I asked. I was sitting in between Angel and Morgan, not an option I usually pick when on car rides. The middle sit always makes me feel sick. I don't know what it is, but it just does.

"Celina's. She invited us over. She wanted help on which dress to pick for tomorrow's little party. She's going to be there, did you know that?" Morgan asked, her tone on the last part was begging for me to say something.