The Diary of Existing

FORTY NINE

FORTY NINE

The following day I was now not looking forward to my session with Dr. Palmer. Because I wasn't sure how she was going to be reacting to what I was about to say. I wasn't sure if I should mention about Henry. But I knew I needed to.

Because the reason behind me wanting to meet with Dr. Palmer is because I wanted to discuss Wesley. Discuss how I should feel about him, because he was making me forget I was a troubled and damaged teenager. He was making me feel like a normal person. Letting me experience normalcy in a way that I didn't know could be possible. Having to only think about boy troubles.

Boy troubles, which I was now currently facing, after I had just told Henry he could court me.

When my third class ended, I was stopped in the hallway by Headmistress Edwards. She told me that my scheduled meeting with my guest was ready to begin in one of the conference rooms. For some reason, I had felt shivers down my spine. Like I had a really bad feeling about this. I followed Headmistress Edwards towards the conference room, she flashed me a smile before opening the door and letting me in. I walked in, and was surprised to see not one, but two people.

Dr. Palmer and Dr. Arbour.

"What is she doing here?" I said as I glared at Dr. Arbour, who seemed unfazed by it.

"Alex, Wesley is family to me. Dr. Arbour is simply here to observe the session. She is here mostly for me and not you. Since we will be discussing about someone who is a part of not just yours but my personal life as well, it gives conflict. But I want to abide by your wishes, and so Dr. Arbour is simply here to observe me and make sure I'm not being too personal, that I'm still professional about the session." Dr. Palmer explained. Bullshit.

"Then why is it her? Why can't it be someone else? You probably know other psychiatrists." I said and Dr. Palmer sighed.

"I know your very reserved about Dr. Arbour. But I chose her because she knows my work ethic more than others. And this might be a sensitive thing to touch on, so please Alex." Dr. Palmer said as she gestured onto a chair in between her and Dr. Arbour. I just stared at it.

"I'll be behind you Alex, away from view. So you won't even know I'm here." Dr. Arbour said and the more I thought about how uncomfortable that will be.

"I'll only inject myself into this if I feel that Dr. Palmer might be getting to personal in what she might reply to what you have to tell her. I'm here for her, not you." Dr. Arbour tried to reassure me but it just really wasn't working. But I also, in a way, needed to talk to Dr. Palmer. And as long as the topic is about Wesley, Dr. Arbour was to be there, even if I waited for Friday. She was persistent, something I hated about her but made her an amazing psychiatrist.

Her patience was remarkable to say the least.

"Fine." I said and marched up towards the chair, pulling more distance between me and Dr. arbour before setting down and getting into a comfortable position. Even if I couldn't see Dr. Arbour, I could feel her presence. It was bothersome, but I would try not to let it get in the way.

"So, Wesley. What about him Alex?" Dr. Palmer said, treating it like any other session. I felt hesitant at first. But I could see that Dr. Palmer was putting in effort into this thing, so I might as well return the favor.

"Before that, I just want to say that I do want to get better." I said and Dr. Palmer looked taken aback, and I'm guessing so was Dr. Arbour.

"We had a session in the past, wherein you told me that I was so distracted by other people's issues that I used it so I wouldn't focus or even think about my own issues. And I guess in a way you are right. But I thought you should know that I do want to be better Dr. Palmer. And that's where Wesley comes in." I began and Dr. Palmer crossed her legs, her hands clasped together and her ears were wide open for me.