Ryden Oneshots

Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket

There is nothing more unpleasant to hear in the morning, Ryan decides, than the sound of Brendon Urie half singing, half screaming in the shower as he gets ready. Ryan pinches his fingers around the bridge of his nose irritably and then gives Spencer a sour look.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into giving this kid rides to school for the rest of the year."

Spencer tries to defend him, says, "He's a really nice guy, just a little loud, maybe," but the apology is written all over his face. Ryan thinks Spencer's soft spot really screwed them over this time.

"Geez, you think?" Ryan gets up from the chair he's sitting on to bang loudly against the bathroom door. "If you don't fucking hurry up, we're leaving without you and you can look forward to your parents getting an angry phone call from the school about you not showing up for classes today." Ryan doesn't care if he sounds like the world's biggest asshole. He's more preoccupied with hating himself for getting talked into the whole situation. He gets to spend every morning for the rest of the semester waiting for this kid to get ready so that he can sit his hyper ass in Ryan's car and annoy him all the way to school.

There's a noise, like someone just dropped a shampoo bottle, and Brendon stops singing.

Spencer gives Ryan a reproachful glance. "Don't you think that was a little harsh?"

Ryan scoffs and walks over to the bookshelf, running his finger over the backs of worn novels and notebooks. "Yeah, not so much. I can't believe I have to take a class with him, too."

"That's your fucking fault for not taking health class sophomore year with everyone else in your grade."

Ryan had heard horror stories of what goes down in his school's health class curriculum. No one can really blame him for trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. "Whatever. I just don't know how you put up with him."

-

Ten minutes later, they're sitting in Ryan's car, ready to go. Five minutes in, and Brendon's managed to reach over from the backseat and change the radio what feels like forty-seven times, talk Ryan's ear off about whatever band was just playing, and bounce around to the music so that Ryan's rear view mirror is constantly obstructed by Brendon's moving head.

By the time Ryan pulls into the parking lot, the late bell has rung. Ryan curses and opens his door angrily, pushing Brendon out of the way as he opens his trunk and grabs his bag.

Spencer grabs his notebook and starts walking away. "I got Macintosh for my first period class; you know how he is with lateness. I'll catch up with you at lunch."

Ryan mentally curses his luck at being stuck with the bubbling sophomore who still hasn't shut up about accordions or whatever topic he's on this time. Ryan slams his trunk, turns to Brendon and spits, "There's this thing called silence. You should try it sometime." He starts to walk away when he remembers with a groan that he has health class first period with Brendon.

Brendon jogs up next to him and doesn't say much on their way to class. Ryan smirks and avoids looking at the downtrodden expression on Brendon's face.

-

When Ryan meets Spencer for lunch that day, he's pretty sure his eyes are still wide as saucers and his mouth is set in a mortified grimace.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Before Ryan can even answer and mourn about the sad state of his life, Brendon bounces up to them and thrusts the egg in front of Spencer's face.

"Nice…egg, Brendon."

"It's Eggburt, actually, but good try." Brendon's beaming. Ryan wants to vomit.