Ryden Oneshots

He Watches The Ships That Come Sailing

Ryan the Reckless was the most frightening pirate of all the seas.

(He wasn't really. People feared him to his face but behind his back made flailing motions and spoke in high-pitched tones over how adorable he was. Even the men. It was a weird phenomenon, unique to Ryan the Reckless. Many suggested that it was the heart-melting smile he had on whenever every time he asked people to do horrifying things to themselves, friends or pets. Everyone did whatever he asked, of course, because Ryan had a big gun and a fierce crew. But that smile! Oh, the broken hearts!)

Ryan had a boat. A big boat. Like his big gun. Ryan had big things, almost by accident. His crew were also all taller then him. His boat's name was The Pumpkin Eater. It wasn't a name he would have chosen, but it came with the ship and he was loathe to change it now. His crew's names were Travis, Gabe, and William; three tallest of layabouts to ever sail who were devoted to Ryan and his reckless ways. They also came with the ship, and it was their home, and Ryan was loathe to change that as well.

The only thing Ryan had that wasn't very big, besides himself, was his three-legged dog Hobo. He'd bought him especially because he had three legs. Also because Hobo the Brave was really cute.

He sailed the seven seas and was reckless with his tall crew and three-legged dog. He felt he had quite achieved the perfect life. There was no shortage of valuables, hidden in his secret places. He had his own cabin with an adjoining bedroom and his crew never complained about their shared quarters.

But Ryan was sometimes unhappy and sometimes he stood at the quarter deck and looked out at the great blank sea and wondered if perhaps he was missing something. Maybe he needed a parrot. Or a new hat. Ryan the Reckless didn't really like hats. They made his head sweaty.

Life on the boat was peaceful. Ryan had been taken by a sudden case of practicality and was steering them in a completely charted direction, which afforded the crew many opportunities for laziness. William and Gabe were sunbathing in the late afternoon sun. Travis was watching them. It was a nice day outside.

"I think Captain Ryan is lonely," said William suddenly. "I think he feels unfulfilled by his life at sea."

"I agree," said Gabe. "And I also think you need more tanning oil." He sat up and rubbed some on William's chest.

"No, I really think he is. He's being more practical then usual. He knows exactly where he wants to go and what he wants to do when he gets where he wants to go."

"Hmm," said Travis.

"And furthermore, I think he knows exactly what he wants us to do when we get where-ever we're going."

"Oh no!" Ryan rarely, if ever, knew what he wanted to do with his crew. He was Ryan the Reckless! He did what ever he wanted! And his crew had even more freedom then that.

"Travis," said Gabe. "Travis, you must go talk to him"

"I don't want to. He's scary when he's being practical."

"You're the tallest," said William. "If he punches you, it'll be in the kneecap. I'd get hit in the groin and Gabe would get hit in the stomach."