Just Like That

11. "I want you"

Breanna Michelle Santana

"Fuck!" I screamed at myself in the car as I rolled up on a stop sign.

My mind was telling me to be smart and not fall into temptation but my heart - my vagina, I mean - was crying out for him.

Curse Grayson for having that effect on me, I thought. You'd think it'd go away after a year.

Truth is, I hadn't been satisfied since we'd last been together.

Stop it, Brea, he's old news! This is a new chapter, remember?

My brain was hurting from all the back-and-forth. With no cars near, I put the car in park and whipped out my iPhone XS Max. I went to Snapchat and accepted the request Grayson had sent me about a week before my arrival.

Without much consideration, I called Grayson and waited impatiently for him to answer.

"Yes," he answered the call via Snapchat in an almost sarcastic manner.

I had no time for small talk, I cut right to the chase.

"Send me your address, I'll be over in thirty," I stated and quickly hung up, feeling instant regret once my courage faded away.

I let out a breath of relief that the hard part was over and threw my phone in the passenger seat. Before driving straight to his house once I got a message including his whereabouts, I thought about something.

"Shit," I cursed stretching the waistline to my leggings out. I needed to shave!

"Shit, shit, shit," I fretted all the way home.

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TAP! TAP! TAP! The yellow, disposable razor clinked against the porcelain sink in the guest bathroom.

I fanned my cooch and waited a second to pull the sweatpants I changed into on properly.

I had just showered and shaved and was ready to go, or at least I thought I was.

All this had taken well over thirty minutes, I was sure he'd thought I bluffed on him.

Second thoughts started clouding my vision.

Should I go, I asked myself in my head. What good what come of it? We fuck and then what, get coffee the next morning and stroll down memory lane? It had gotten to a point where our conversations never ended well or I would cut them off before getting to that point. I didn't want to try again with him romantically but God, I wanted him to impregnate me. Eh, well, babies scare me so never mind, but practice wouldn't hurt.

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"I can't do this."

I ran away from the door a split second after knocking on it.

This is a mistake.
This is a mistake.
This is a mistake.

Normally I was so confident but this man... this man made me weak.

"Brea," Grayson caught me. The door widened and the inside light shone on me, revealing my guilty face once I turned to see him standing there.

"Heyyyy, Gray," I spoke shakily and made my way back to the entrance.

It was a nice place - a fitting townhome for him alone - minimal decorations but good pieces of furniture and no clutter except for a chair that seemed to be used as a coatrack.

Already, it was going nothing like I envisioned. In my head, I saw him opening the door and me springing into his arms to be taken straight to the bedroom and thrown onto the bed, ordered to strip. However, he only offered me a drink and engaged in small talk. This was fine, though.