Just Like That

57. "made things right"

Grayson Reid Jansen

Okay you're probably thinking I'm a piece of shit. I mean, I've been a piece of shit this whole time, right? Alright, let's not get carried away, forget I asked.

It had been two days since my dramatic breakup with Leila. Not only did I catch a cold but I literally started to hate myself for how it all went down.
I just kept spiraling and I had no idea why I was doing the shitty things I was doing. I was on auto-pilot but it was malfunctioning.

Either way it goes, I kept thinking about her and not in the same way I think about Breanna but just thinking about how I could possibly rectify the situation.

Breanna Michelle was coming home soon which meant I might get another chance but Brea's a grown woman and judging by her social media, she moved on and was happy. There was NO WAY I'd get her back unless I changed. This meant a lot — and I mean A LOT — of, uh, soul searching, I guess? Yeah, that. Really, what I mean is, I cried. Yes, cried. Pain just hit me all at once and it was hard to handle.

I never got to grieve over my mom, the night she died I went and cheated on Brea which, I know, big fucking mistake. At some point, I even questioned if I was a sexaholic. After talking to one of my dad's friends who was a shrink, she said I wasn't. However, she did agree I was a complete childish asshole. I'll take it.

That's all in the past, though.

It's a new day. I had to get my shit together.

I am in no way saying Brea has to take me back but there's nothing wrong with trying or at least showing her that I can be a decent guy like the guy I was who she first met and fell for.

=======

KNOCK! KNOCK!

I waited anxiously outside of Leila's apartment with flowers. I didn't know her favorites but girls like flowers so it was the least I could do. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if she spat in my face and threw the flowers in the trash, honestly.

"Who is it?" She asked loudly from the other side of the white door as it didn't have a peephole.

"Pizza man, open up." I yelled back.

"Grayson, if that's you... go away." She insisted.

"Okay... after you open the door."

I heard her grunt but she opened the door and mugged me.

"What?" She grumbled with folded arms.

"I come in peace."

"And you bring flowers? Is this supposed to mean something?"

I laughed sarcastically and handed the bouquet over. "I don't suppose you need some grand apology now, do you?" She started to shut the door in my face but I stopped her.

"Okay," I spoke,"Leila, I'm sorry. I never meant for things to come to this! I didn't even want to be in a relationship at the time. You know about Brea, it's true, I wasn't over her, yet. Shit, to be honest with you, I'm still not. But I'm not here to talk about her, I'm here to talk about us— I mean, you."

"I'm listening." She breathed out, bored.

"That's all I got." I said that and she sucked her teeth, threatening to go back inside and slam the door on my face but I stopped it again.

"I suck. Like, I know that-"

"Did you ever cheat on me, Grayson or were we even in a relationship at all?"

"Yes, Leila. And thinking back, I did love you to some extent but it's hard when you go through what I went through for so long with Brea."

"You say this isn't about her but it is. How can it not be? You keep bringing her up so let's talk about it."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"How much time do you have?"

"Enough."

With that, she led me inside so I could tell her literally everything...

====

"Wow. I guess I had no idea how serious you two were," Leila said once I finished.

"Yeah."

"That was deep and kinda beautiful. Toxic... but beautiful. I guess you do have a heart in there, huh?" She made me laugh.

"Yeah, so, Leila, it wasn't you-"

"I never thought it was, I knew you were a douche." We laughed again. She was making this a lot easier, I definitely appreciated her a lot more.

"What do I have to say, or do, to make it up to you?"

"As appealing as that offer is, nothing. Just— you need to keep your shit in your pants and stop using the 'L' word so loosely, dick." Leila pushed her shoulder against mine and smiled softly.

In another life, she would've been my dream girl. Things didn't work like that though and for now, she was only a memory.

"Is this you giving me life advice?" I chuckled, nudging her back.

"Yes it is and you should take it! Now get out of here, I have a whole lot of nothing to do."

We both stood up and stared at each other. It was bittersweet, honestly, when we went in for the hug that lasted for the right amount of time. I squeezed and exhaled, taking a few steps back.

"This isn't goodbye, either. You're gonna help me move in and plan this housewarming party!"

"Yes, sir." She giggled, letting me go so I could near the front door.

"Leila," I turned to call after her.

"Grayson." She batted her long lashes.

After a hesitation, I smirked and said,"thank you for being so cool."

Seriously though, that went way better than I expected it, too. I even felt like I was coming back into myself. Like, I took control and made things right for a change. What else can I do?