Wreckless ( Ddlb ) *Complete*

Enough for two

Finnegan put his cell phone face-down on his desk and pushed away, forcing his rolling chair to spin in a circle. He ended up staring out of his window but that couldn't compete with the urge to press his head back against his chair and look up towards the ceiling. After a moment, he wiped his hands on his slacks and then rubbed his eyes.

None of it made him feel very much better and the spots swimming in front of his eyes when he opened them didn't help at all. He was still at work where he'd been since 4:30 this morning and there was still one fault on the circuit boards that no one seemed to be able to identify, much less fix.

Megan had popped her head into his office at least an hour ago, letting him know that she was on her way out. It was dark out so he could only guess it was at least 5:30 although this time of year, especially with the time change a few weeks ago, he could never remember what time it got dark. It was almost always before he got home though, that was a constant.

On his drive home he tried to make sense of the conversation he had with Tristan, if you could call it that. Everything made much more sense once he realized that even though Tristan had kept his name out of it and obviously hadn't wanted to throw him under the bus, Emmett was involved. But how?

He racked his brain, trying to remember if it had ever been mentioned but no, he was fairly sure they'd never talked about it. He had almost told Emmett right away, when they'd talked and he'd learned about Emmett's military service. It had been the only answer he'd come up with that seemed like an appropriate response, and then there had been a Marten event and the subject had been dropped.

But how in the world did it come up, and why? Why wouldn't Emmett just ask him if for some reason he'd figured it out. But how? Not that it really mattered, he wasn't ashamed of it or anything, it simply was what it was. As he pulled into his parking spot, he wondered if he was just too exhausted to even bother with this tonight and decided that he definitely was. If Emmett wanted answers so bad, he could call even though as tired as he was Finnegan planned to ignore it. He needed pajamas, dinner, and some fun. Preferably in that order.

He loosened his tie as he rode up the elevator and then gasped loudly when he saw Emmett leaning against his door.

Emmett stood, rolling his shoulders to work out the kinks and then picked up the bag of take-out he'd brought. "Hey Finn, can we talk?" He knew it wasn't polite to wait for him here like some stalker but he needed answers and knew that once Finnegan was in his little apartment cave, that might not happen.

He was slightly interested in finding out why he'd gotten a panicked call from Tristan but it wasn't worth it, not tonight. "Tonight's not good, Emmett. Sorry but I just can't."

"Did you eat?" Emmett asked, lifting the bag.

No but he had plenty in the fridge to make a sandwich. "I'm good. Sorry, you should have called" so he could tell him no over-the-phone instead of to his face which was much harder.

"It's after 7." He'd only been here an hour but it felt like two. Did Finn always get home this late? "You look exhausted." No, he wasn't leaving here without at least knowing whether or not he was sick. It just wasn't happening.

"I am exhausted. I just pulled a 14-hour day and I would really, really like to go home now." He put his key into the lock but Emmett reached out and gently grasped his other elbow. "Emmett?"

"Can you just tell me one thing? Are you sick?"

Fine, if they were going to do this, he may as well get it over with. He turned and locked eyes with Emmett. "No. Why is everyone asking me that today?" he asked angrily.

Wow, was he getting the boss treatment? If so, he could see why Finnegan was effective. "You don't have cancer? No leukemia?"

"No. I HAD acute myeloid leukemia. I was diagnosed when I was seven. I did chemo and had a bone marrow transplant and now I am right as rain. Are we done here?" The entire hallway reeked of delicious food and he was starving. Just to prove the point, his stomach rumbled loudly. His messenger bag was heavy and he wanted to put it down but that might give Emmett the wrong idea so instead he just flashed him a rather unhappy grimace.

Maybe they were. Maybe they were done because Emmett wasn't sure he could deal with the uncertainty. "So can it come back?"

Finnegan couldn't help but sigh. "It won't. It cooouuuuld" he acknowledged, drawing out the word "but it won't and the chances are literally no higher than you coming down with it, Emmett. I don't get how you know or why you seem to care so much. Why are you so upset?"

"I..." It wasn't the time to bring his mother into this and they hadn't even talked about the hard stuff they were supposed to be working on.

"So we're done? Look, we can talk about it this weekend if you wanna google and talk to Tristan some more or something but I need to go in. I'm sorry for skipping out on dinner but this really can wait, okay?"

"You should have told me, Finn. You should have told me a lot of things. Dating you is obviously really complicated and now you don't have time for it. I don't even know what to say to that."

"Time? I told you when this whole thing started that I had no time during the week. And what do you mean I should have told you? We've known each other for almost no time at all and I thought we were about having some fun and if that is somehow really complicated, whatever that means, maybe you should have left half an hour ago like I asked you to."

Emmett couldn't understand how he was being so blase about it. It was cancer, not the common cold. "Really? You relapsing and dying isn't complicated?!?!"

"I'm FINE, Emmett! I do tests twice a year to make sure and I am fine. I've been in remission forever and the relapse rate is tiny at this point, like zero. Forget about it!"

"How can I?" He stepped up close to Finnegan, so close that he could feel the angry little puffs of air he was blowing out of his mouth. "Every time I start to think that I have my head wrapped around you, something explodes. Cancer is horrible, one of the worst things there is."

Who did he think he was talking to? "Like I don't know that? Look, the first five years afterwards, my family and I lived in a constant state worry. Every time I wanted to take a nap they would wonder if it was because it had come back. Every time I got a cut my mother would watch it to make sure it didn't take too long to clot. And that was nothing, the after. Do you not realize that I know exactly what chemo is like? Why are you being such an asshole about this?"

Emmett backed up until his back hit the wall. "You're right, I'm sorry. It's just... it's hard. Cancer is a bitch."

"I agree." And then he got it, he understood the fear, or at least he thought so. "Who?"

Emmett didn't think his heart could beat any faster when he was standing still but one single word proved him wrong. "My mom."

All the anger flew out of Finnegan, leaving only fatigue behind. He remembered asking Emmett when he'd learned to cook. "She was sick, you told me. I didn't realize... I'm sorry, Emmett."

"My junior year of high school. She went quick, that was the only blessing but... it was awful, watching her..." He ran out of words and just took a few halting breaths, then held the bag of food out towards Finnegan. "Take it. Not sure if it's any good at this point but you should eat something."

He took it hesitantly, surprised at the weight. "Did you bring enough for two?"

"Yeah, but that's fine, I'll grab something on my way home."

Finnegan couldn't exactly be mad at Emmett for being worried about him, now could he? Well he could, but that would make him the asshole and he was really enjoying making Emmett  that the bad guy tonight. Even though he was ready to climb into bed at this point he couldn't just eat all the food Emmett had brought for both of them. "Come in. We'll eat, but then I need to get around for bed. I have an early morning."

Good enough. "Okay."