BMC & DEH One-Shots and Headcannons

BMC-Who's Life Sucks More?

If you know what this is from, you will be my best friend

Oh yeah, this is kind of a meme Chapter too. Don't take it seriously.

"Morning, Jeremy!" Jeremy greeted Jake.

"Hi, Jake!" Jake replied, chugging a coffee. He winced at the bitter flavor, and then took another sip. "How's life?"

"Disappointing!" Jeremy answered.

"What's the matter?"

"The catering company laid me off." Jeremy's boss had just laid him off. Apparently, Jeremy didn't meet the qualities that the job needed.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Jake said sympathetically.

"Me too! I mean, look at me! I'm two years out of college, and I always thought..."

"What?" Jake asked.

"No, it sounds stupid," Jeremy said, brushing it off.

"Aww, come on!" Jake prodded.

"When I was little, I thought I would be a big comedian on late night TV. But now I'm twenty-five, and as you can see, I'm not." Jeremy shrugged.

"Nope!" Jake grinned sarcastically.

"Oh Well. It sucks to be me." Jeremy laughed.

"Pshhh no." Jake sipped his coffee.

"It sucks to be broke and unemployed and turning twenty-six. Life just sucks, am I right?"

"Oh, you think your life sucks?" Jake laughed. He found a trash can, and threw his empty coffee cup away.

"I think so! I'm jobless and I won't make any money to pay rent!" Jeremy said.

"Your problems aren't so bad! I'm kinda pretty! And pretty damn smart."

"You are," Jeremy said.

"Thanks!" Jake gushed. "I like romantic things like music and art. And as you know, I have a gigantic heart. So why don't I have a soulmate?"

"Oh, I bet you'll get one-"

"Fuck! Man does it suck to be me!" Jake said.

"Me too." Jeremy laughed. "It sucks to be Jeremy..."

"And Jake!"

"To not have a job!"

"To not have a date!"

"I'm literally jobless. You have a job!"

"I'm a kindergarten assistant. It's not a real job," Jeremy said. Jake noticed Chloe and Brooke coming into the lobby of the apartment in the midst of an argument. They were bickering about one of them using all the hot water and who takes more time in the bathroom.

"Hey, Brooke, Chloe, can you settle something for us? Do you have a second?"

"Sure!" Brooke adjusted her hair. Chloe glared at her.

"Whose life sucks more? Jeremy's or mine?" Jake asked.

"Ours!" Chloe answered.

"We live together," Brooke said.

"We're about as close as people can get." The girls started talking over each other again.

"We've been the best of buddies-"

Ever since the moment that we met," Chloe finished Brooke's sentence, earning a glare from the blonde girl.

"So she knows lots of ways to make me really upset. Oh, every day is an aggravation!" Brooke said.

"Come on, that's an exaggeration!" Chloe retorted.

"Girls, please don't fight-" Jeremy was cut off by arguing.

"You leave your clothes out. You put your feet on my favorite chair." Brooke was cut off by Chloe once again. Jake and Jeremy watched as the girls continued bickering.

"Oh yeah?" Chloe said. "You do such anal things like ironing your underwear!"

"You make that very small apartment we share a hell!" Brooke spat.

"So do you. That's why I'm practically in hell too!" Chloe replied.

"What are you all doing? Why are you arguing?" Michael had entered the lobby, his headphones around his neck, playing a Bob Marley song.

"Because our lives suck!"

Your lives suck? I'm hearing you correctly? Ha! I'm coming to this country for all the opportunities. Tried to work in the music industry, but I can't sing a lick. And I hate myself every day for it! But with hard work I earn two Master's Degrees in social work! And now I'm therapist! But I have no clients! And I have an unemployed fiancé!" Michael gestured to Jeremy, who grinned sheepishly. "And we have lots of stupid bills to pay! I think we know who the winner is!"

"Excuse me?" Said a voice. A short girl with black hair was standing beside them.

"Hey there!" Jeremy said.

"Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a place to live." The girl looked around. "I'm Christine."

"Why you looking all the way out here?" Michael asked.

"Well, I started at Avenue Hsu, but so far everything is out of my price range. But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper. Oh, and look-a "For Rent" sign!" She pointed to a sign.

"You need to talk to the superintendent. Let me get him," Jake said.

"Great, thanks-" Christine was cut off by Jake yelling in the distance.

"YO, RICH!" Boomed Jake.

"I'm comin'! I'm comin'!" Rich came into the room huffing and puffing.

"Oh my God! It's Rich Goranski!" Christine squealed. "I saw Spring Awakening last year, and it was amazing!"

"Yes I am! I'm Rich Goranski! From Broadway's Spring Awakening. I made a lotta money that got stolen By my folks! Now I'm broke and I'm the butt Of everyone's jokes, But I'm here -The Superintendent! On Avenue Chill-"

"It sucks to be you!" Brooke threw her hands up in the air.

"You win!" Jake said.

"I feel better now!" Jeremy said. Then he noticed the look on Michael's face. "I mean, that's terrible, babe! I'm so sorry about that."

Try having people stopping you to tell you 'IT'S FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'!" Rich put on a very serious face. "It gets old."

"Well, here are your keys, Christine!" Rich handed Christine her keys.

"Man, this is like real life!" Christine smiled. "This is awesome!"

"You're gonna love it!" Chloe said. "Just don't be too loud!"

"And welcome to Avenue Chill!" Jake said, clapping her back.

Guess the musical now!!